Social networking site and dating- an evil combination

Photo: Freedigitalphotos.net/Maggie Smith

Facebook. Myspace. Twitter.

You know you have at least one account. According to statistics, there are over 200 million Facebook account holders, and 2/3 of those are already out of college. Hell, the fastest growing demographic on the website is the age group 35+. As of last December, Myspace had over 125 million users. Twitter is exploding in popularity- even boring people like Oprah fritter away their day posting tweet after inane tweet.

These networking sites can be extremely beneficial- people can keep up with old friends without having to make those strained, awkward, "Hey, I haven't talked to you in about eighteen months, what's new?" phone calls. All you have to do is post a message on someone's wall, send them a clever bumper sticker, or simply poke them if you're feeling especially unmotivated. Users can join fan clubs, and can keep track of what's going on in their friends' lives simply by checking status updates. With all of the killer technology we have today,  updates can be sent directly to Iphones and Blackberrys, allowing you to find out that your cousin is "soooo completely hungover" while you pretend to take notes in a staff meeting. If you're being set up on a date, you can cruise on over to Myspace and lurk your prospect's home page to make sure they aren't utterly bizarre. Or at least memorize what kind of music they like, so you have something to blurt out should an awkward silence strike.

So where's the harm in these seemingly innocent networking tools? Honestly, no evil can emanate from picking a Myspace layout or deciding which user picture to load on Facebook, right?

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

These sites provide a huge stumbling block when it comes to relationships and dating. Remember in middle school (and for some of us, high school)  when you had one house phone, and if you were lucky enough, an answering machine? This was how the opposite sex got ahold of you. They couldn't cop out and send you a cutesy message on Facebook to ask you on a date. Nor could they break up with you by posting a picture on Myspace of them making out with a random stranger. These sites let people hide behind their glowing computer screens, lending them an anonymity that allows them to behave in outlandish and sometimes freakish ways. It's easy to make someone think you're incredibly witty and charming when you have the capacity to revise your wall comments forty-seven times. 

How many of you have been asked out on a networking site? One of my favorite scenes from the movie He's Just Not That Into You is when Drew Barrymore's character is asked out on a date in a Myspace message. Her flamboyant co-worker snarkily informs her that Myspace is the new booty call. How should you construe being asked out over a keyboard? Is this cowardice, or just simple laziness? Or is it acceptable as these websites increasingly become a part of everyday life?

Not to mention all of the trouble these sites can cause for even the most established of relationships. Cryptic status messages, wall posts, and tweets can drive the most rational person to lunacy. People post movie quotes, song lyrics, and inside jokes that can be entirely baffling to others. Putting up a 140 character tweet that you're angry at someone can cause irrational panic in your significant other, who could quite possibly assume that they've done something obnoxious to infuriate you and spur this passive-aggressive attack. Undoubtedly, you're just angry at the idiot bag-boy who smashed your organic eggs under the six-pack of Sam Adams you just bought, but this quickly gets lost in translation.

I once was interested in a guy who never, ever responded to any of the comments I left on his page. I tried leaving endearing messages, posting pictures, even asking questions that definitely required an answer- all to no avail. Eventually, I took his lack of response as a crushing lack of interest. Anyone not already completely wrapped up in the fad that is social networking might have assumed that he hadn't logged on in a while, or wasn't savvy enough to feel comfortable responding. My technology-warped brain and I, however, decided that he was avoiding me and that I should trip on to the next schmuck. Oh, and let's mention the "relationship status" option that most of these sites have. When should you change your status from "single" to "in a relationship"? What if the person you're supposedly in a relationship with doesn't change their status? Are they trying to tell you something, or did they just  forget? Conversely, is it completely callous to change your status from "in a relationship" to "single" fifteen minutes after the break-up happens on your Itouch? Someone should write an instruction manual- they would be an overnight millionaire.

These sites also allow you to post pictures in different photo albums that you create. Let me just tell you how ridiculously messy this can become. Say you're at a bar, chatting with an old guy friend about how much you hate The Bachelorette. Some nosy bystander snaps a picture on their IPhone, posts it on Facebook in a matter of seconds, and the next thing you know you're getting an irate text message from your boyfriend demanding to know what's going on. You find yourself trapped in an episode of Gossip Girl, but without the amazing designer clothing or the hotness that is Ed Westwick. It sounds completely implausible, but trust me, it's not. The lack of context surrounding the picture can spur ugly assumptions and jealousy. How about if your ex starts posting comments on your wall? It may be completely innocent, but others may infer that it means you two are still wildly in love and must be having some sort of elicit affair. All it takes is one mention to your current boyfriend, and the finger pointing begins.

These are just a few instances of the drama that can be created by these sites. I'm a self-proclaimed Facebook junkie, and I've seen it all happen. I'll admit to lurking on pages, drawing conclusions that are mostly likely completely irrelevant and stupid. I've posted passive-agressive status messages, hastily deleted comments that might annoy my significant other, and endlessly contemplated just what someone's status may mean. As dangerous as these sites can be, they're a growing part of day to day life and they're truly inescapable. The best we can hope for is that the people we choose to date know how to pick up a telephone or swing by the house in addition to tweeting and poking and commenting. With the increasing popularity of social networking sites, I'd say they're not going anywhere for a while...so if you feel yourself getting anxious when the guy you're sorta-kinda dating posts a picture of himself with another girl, turn off the computer and assume it's his sister until you hear (via telephone) otherwise.

 For more information on Facebook, Myspace and Twitter, see Compete.com.