Is it time to meet your online date in the flesh?

You've been emailing for a week. The person on the other end seems to have their act together, so your gut is telling you that it may be time to meet. How can you be certain it's safe to meet in person? Truth is, you can never be 100% sure, but read on to learn some tips for making the first real life meeting a little less risky...

Despite widespread concerns about the safety of internet dating, engaging in the game of love online is still a pretty safe enterprise. Sure, online daters need to be vigilant about protecting both their personal information and their person. Witness the many high profile stories involving unfortunate souls duped by the latest online scam. While it's easy to pooh-pooh or even snicker at stories of online romance gone horribly wrong, internet safety is a serious issue that deserves your attention. Notwithstanding the inherent dangers of communing with a complete stranger, with a few guiding principles and some good 'ole human intuition, the potential hazards of internet dating can be all but eliminated.

Be a healthy skeptic
While there is no need to re-enact the Spanish Inquisition by subjecting your online sweetie to a series of sweat-inducing interrogations, a little fact checking for contradictions in a person's storyline can often surface red flags. Review your email exchanges paying close attention to any inconsistencies in the person's responses. For instance, did the person say he was 23, but mention that he has been working for the same company for the last 10 years? Did you feel uncomfortable during any of your email conversations? Did you ever feel like he/she was pushing you to disclose things about yourself? Until you're reasonably satisfied that the person is being honest with you, postpone hanging out.

One small step for dating, one great leap for dating safely
Generally speaking, there are two types of people in the world. Those who like to test the waters by sticking one or two toes in, and those who jump right in with both feet. If you subscribe to this latter group, then read on... While there are many times in life where snap decisions are fitting, online dating is not one of them. In terms of general guidelines, it's reasonable to make phone contact after exchanging emails for at least a few days to validate your initial impressions of the person. Some newer dating sites like Chicago-based winkvid.com even incorporate video-calling into the online dating process.

You should consider using a social or temporary phone number from one of the many free online providers. The phone can be a good way to get even more information about the person and learn more about their intentions. Keep to the phone for about a week till you agree to a first meeting. If your online amour is resistant to the idea and tries to cajole you into an in-person meeting, there may be a hidden agenda. In this case, it's best to tell the person to call you if they're still interested in keeping the lines of communication open.

Conduct an online investigation
Before the internet, the only people who had access to others' personal information were licensed private investigators, police departments, and the federal government. The internet has changed all that. Today, you can perform a background investigation online from the comfort of your own home. A simple Google search and review of Facebook may surprise you in terms of the amount of information available on your newest love interest. Jessica, a 20-something Wicker Park artist routinely digs around for dirt before first meeting up with a guy. “Prior to meeting a guy, I will quickly scan Google and Facebook to see if he’s got any skeletons in his closet. I have to admit that I have cancelled a date or two based on what I’ve found” she says. To dig deeper, you can check out your date's criminal history using sites like Intelius and Trufina. If your date has been rated by a previous love interest on DateRaters.com, you will be privy to in depth information on the person’s physical, intellectual, emotional and social characteristics from the perspective of their recent dates.

Heed warning signs
In all of your communications, be wary of any signs of anger, excessive frustration, or attempts to pressure you. Anger and frustration are often manifested through the use of insults, mockery, and contempt. Many times, these red flags will not be overt and you'll need to look deeper for supporting evidence. Often letting a friend or family member read your emails is a good way for an objective, third party to recognize warning signs you may have overlooked. Even then, it may take some time before you are able to detect an ill-intentioned mate.

Once you make the decision to meet, make sure to tell a friend or family member what you're doing, who you're meeting, and where you'll be. Short of taking another person with you on your date (can you say awkward?), it's the smartest way to protect yourself.

Let your guard down…slowly
In her 2009 book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, Online Dating/Relationship author Julie Spira provides an honest recount of the unfortunate deceit that sometimes only becomes apparent well into a relationship. Take your time getting to know your new love interest, even if everything seems on the up-and-up after a few dates. Allow time for your lives to become fully intertwined so that you get to know the person from as many angles as possible. Give your special someone time to prove himself/herself to you, and for you to do the same, to build trust naturally. If your instincts are making you uncomfortable with some aspect of the relationship, trust them and begin asking questions. An honest individual will expect some personal inquiries, and should offer information willingly and openly.

Online dating can be a frightening enterprise for the uninformed, but with a bit of web savvy you’ll be conquering cupid in a fun and safe manner in no time. If nothing else, keep your wits about you and walk away if something seems odd. Afterall, with online dating, there truly are plenty of fish in the sea.