Dating can feel like high stakes poker. At a recent singles event, participants were asking me for strategies to minimize risk. “How do I tell if a woman will say yes before I ask her out?” “How can I tell if he really likes me or if he just wants sex?” “What is the best way to ask a woman for her number?” “He acted like he really liked me, then he never called. What happened?”
It’s almost impossible to avoid uncertainty and rejection when you are dating. Most people know what they’re looking for. Once they discover that their date is not a match, they want to move on. It’s part of the dating process that makes everyone uncomfortable. Knowing how to handle rejection and understanding that it’s normal makes dating easier.
Remember that 100% of your dating relationships will end in rejection before you find lasting love. This most often occurs after the first date. By the third or fourth date it’s time to decide whether a relationship is worth pursuing, and act accordingly. Often couples part ways at the three, six or nine month mark. After you’ve been together for a year, you’ve passed the predictable hurdles.
Being aware of these statistics makes it easier to take break-ups as part of the dating process. Yes it can hurt, but it doesn’t imply that there is something wrong with you. It just means that you and the person you were dating were not a match.
One way to protect yourself from the pain of rejection is to slow down when you’re getting involved with someone. Pinning your hopes on someone who you’ve recently met, or committing to someone who hasn’t committed to you is folly. Even if you're positive that they are The One.
Once you understand that rejection is often part of dating, you’ll be able to take it in stride, and be one step closer the person who will be right for you.
Upcoming events: If you are a woman who is wondering where to meet men, why not go to Half Moon Bay this weekend and check out the Pacific Coast Dream Machines Show. It features antique planes, cars and other machines, and celebrates mechanical ingenuity, power and style. Go with a friend, bring a camera to take pictures, perhaps for your nephews, sons or uncles. Be friendly and flirtatious, and ask several likely looking guys to take your photo in front of a plane or vintage car.
In other news, I was out of commission for the last couple of weeks due to a combination of hard drive and shoulder issues.
Midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
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