Dear Annie, This year, I‘ve resolved to get serious about finding love. I’m tired of not meeting anyone special, or worse yet, tolerating worthless dates with losers. What can I do to find lasting love this year? Nora

Dear Nora, Making the decision to pursue love is a great first step. Shifts in attitude, appearance and actions are the keys to transforming your love life. Prepare to embrace the feelings of uncertainty that accompany courtship. When you’re venturing into the unknown, you’ll likely feel insecure, exhilarated and confused. It’s not you—it’s simply part of the process.

Attitude: First, analyze your past relationships, so that you understand what they had in common—good and bad. Explore any negative ideas that you have about the opposite sex, and discard them. It’s easy to create a false barrier by thinking that all men (or women) are alike. When you meet someone, let his actions show you what kind of a guy he is. People are attracted by a positive, friendly attitude and confidence—not arrogance. One way to bolster your confidence is by reflecting on the good things in your life before you fall asleep. Tell yourself that love is coming into your life—positive affirmations do help!

Appearance: You don’t need to look like a model, but do look your best to look great every time you leave the house. Men tell me that they enjoy fit women of various sizes who have a sense of style. If you want someone to be attracted to you, put on your most attractive self. Project your self-confidence. You’ll appear more self-assured if you have good posture, make eye contact and smile at others

Actions: Tell everyone you know that you’d like introductions to eligible friends. Meet new people every day and you’ll be dating in no time. Vary your routine: try a new café, grocery store or gym, and chat with strangers. Join a class or activity: try your hand at golf, dancing, or martial arts. Volunteer for a good cause. Sign up for online dating. See my previous articles for tips on finding a great online site and writing a magnetic profile.

The road to love is often bumpy. Embark on it with a sense of adventure, humor, and patience. Give love time to grow, and it will be yours.

Sorry, Annie Gleason and Carlos Xuma's seminar "He Says/She Says: Power Secrets to Demystifying Dating For Adults" on January 30th, 2010 has sold out.

San Francisco based midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.

For more info: Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net