If something doesn’t feel quite right about the man who just swept you off your feet, take a step back before you jump in heart-first. If your answer is yes to any of the following questions, there is a good chance that he’s otherwise involved. Take your time and carefully think about these questions before moving forward.
Is he evasive about the exact location of his home? When you suggest stopping by, does he tell you that he’d rather meet you elsewhere? A client of mine was once told that the wife of a man she was seeing had recently died of breast cancer. When she investigated his reluctance to invite her into his home, she discovered that his wife was very much alive!
Does he avoid introducing you to friends and colleagues? If you should you happen to bump into someone, does he introduce you as a “pal” or “associate”?
Does he shy away from minor public displays of affection, such as holding hands, even though he’s passionate and physical when you’re together in private?
Has he refrained from giving you his home phone number? If you call him in the evening, is he unavailable or unwilling to talk for more than a couple of minutes? Does he insist on always calling you, without giving you advance notice?
If you met online, was his photo unpublished? A large percentage of online daters who have no photo are in committed relationships. Others are teachers, therapists or those who don’t want the public to view them Don’t assume that he’s unattached just because he sends you a photo when you ask. Do your homework and investigate the possibility that he’s already taken.
If a man is evasive about the details of his personal life and available only erratically, it’s safe to assume that he’s either married, involved or not interested in a real relationship with you. So listen to your instincts and let them help you steer clear of potential problems.
Coming up: Get A Love Life's Dating After Divorce workshop will take place in San Francisco on Friday, September 25, from 5:30-9:30PM. Click here for details.
San Francisco based midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
For more info: Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net
Comments
They aren't always so secretive; I recently had a man ask me out after he told me that he had a wife and four kids in another country (he was traveling on business.)
When I asked him about his wife's feelings about that, he said they had "an open relationship"!!
I asked him if his wife knew this, then ran the other way!
Annie, I'd like for you to write a column about cynicism and dating. I hear about my friends' disappointments, I hear about the high infidelity and divorce rate, I hear so much bad news that it's difficult to keep my morale up while dating. Sometimes, it just doesn't seem worth it to look for love. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way.
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