Dear Annie, Why is it that when I email women online, most don’t even give me the courtesy of a “no, thanks?” I’ve emailed or winked at hundreds of women, but hardly anyone one responds. I compliment them and tell them that I’d like to get to know them better. Nothing… What is with these ladies? Why are they online if they don’t want to date? Jay
Dear Jay, The most attractive women on online dating sites get dozens of emails every day. If yours looks like everyone else’s, it will be easy for her to overlook. Get her attention by using an original subject line that relates to the content in her profile, rather than saying “Hi” like the other guys.
When a woman reads your email, she’ll likely ask herself the following questions.
“Does he fit my basic dating criteria?” Before you contact her, look at the “About My Date” section, and see how you fit. For example, if you are 40 years old, but she is looking for someone 30 – 38, your chances of getting a reply are slim. If you meet all of her criteria, you’ll be more likely to hear from her.
“Is he interested in me—has he read my profile--or is he writing to dozens of women at the same time?” Read what she wrote about herself, and comment about details in her profile. “Where did you stay in Bali? When I visited, I loved the views of the rice paddies in Ubud.” Rather than saying she’s attractive, compliment her on her taste in something that she mentioned.
Ask her a couple of questions so that she has something easy to say when she writes back. “Did you fall in love with the food when you visited Greece? If so, where is the best place to find it in San Francisco?”
Tell her a little about yourself. “I really enjoy the Tzatziki at the Sunrise Deli--it's got great Middle Eastern food.”
Show her that you have a sense of humor. If you can make her laugh with a friendly joke about something that she mentions, you’re ahead of the game.
If you follow these guidelines, you’ll begin getting more replies to your emails. Not everyone will answer—industry statistics report that an average man can expect a 15-20% response rate.
For more info: Sorry, Annie Gleason and Carlos Xuma's seminar "He Says/She Says: Power Secrets to Demystifying Dating For Adults" on January 30th, 2010 has sold out.
San Francisco based midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program. Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net
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