Save the Date: Lesbian knows best, part II

Vicki Wagner is Lesbian Knows Best

We continue our conversation with Vicki Wagner, the Los Angeles-based relationship expert, author and comedian who created the podcast Lesbian Knows Best.

What's a recipe for good sex in a relationship?
I think it all comes down to chemistry. Different people are attracted to different things. In order for there to be good sex in a relationship, there needs to be passion. If there isn't any passion you can say goodbye to the sex.  

So what happens when you still want to be in a relationship where there isn't any passion? You have to try to create some—I suggest seduction. Start appealing to the senses and create an environment that is inviting.  

Have everything in place, put the condoms by the bed stand, have the lube ready and get ready to get your groove on! Sex is a physical and a mental thing, so stimulate the five senses and get ready to rock! If those things don't work, it's time to move on!

How can people limit the "crazy-making" in their dating lives?
Whoa! That's a tough question. It's a catch 22 sometimes because some people are addicted to that excitement and drama.

If there is crazy-making in your relationship, it probably goes back to a childhood issue that you have. Sometimes you have to deal with your own demons before you can go out in the world and deal with someone else's.  

I wrote a manual, Get a Date Today, How to Market Yourself For Love in which I provide lots of exercises for someone to do in order to determine exactly what someone wants out of a relationship and out of another person.  

What do you do if you keep attracting losers in your dating life?
See above!

OK, if you are attracting losers, you are the one who needs to once again find out WHY. Most people who attract losers don't have a lot of self-respect and are also insecure. This also goes back to childhood and conditioning.

If you continually allow yourself to be treated like a doormat then that is all that you will attract.

Have you ever needed some help yourself?
Let me tell you a secret.  When I was in the Air Force in basic training, our training Instructor made us say at least 100 times a day, "I'm the best."

We did it every day. Well, I'll tell you what, there was not a girl there that didn't have confidence and self respect when she got out of Basic Training and not only that but our flight won all the competitions and actually became the best on the base.