.jpg)
I had the luxury of an afternoon in peace about a week ago, where I found myself bearing witness to several actions of coffee shop patrons, all of which gave me a good reason to write. People-watching is one of human kind’s greatest pastimes, and on a day such as this, I could not stop myself. I was perched at one of my favorite local venues to relax and read my latest book when I began to notice small actions that made me smile, and several that made me cringe. This venue is on a fairly busy street with many passersby and has a steady crowd for the majority of their hours of operation, so I was sure to pick a spot where I could view patron interactions from the street to the checkout counter without alluding to my true intentions.
While sitting back and enjoying my tea, I found myself noting the simple gestures that were thoughtful and mannerly, often reciprocated or acknowledged amongst strangers with a simple smile and a hushed “thank you.” These quaint acts ranged from strangers holding open the doors for one another to allowing those behind them to take their spot in line as final decisions were made about drink and snack combinations. (My favorite moment by far is when a gentleman instinctively took the hand of his other half prior to crossing the busy street, making sure to look both ways of course.)
After approximately twenty minutes of observation, I made note of the small and simple gestures that seemingly made a big difference in my perception of the character of many of the customers. I was much more intrigued by those who were kind and patient, and grew more frustrated with those that seemed inconsiderate and rude. The subtle sweet gestures were hard to find, but perhaps more obvious were the actions that left me feeling that there is little hope that future generations understand the meaning of manners. I have made a quick list of some do’s and don’ts of acceptable public behavior; some that reflect my recent findings, and others that deal on the dating level. This list gives some simple guidelines on basic manners which are important to keep in mind on a daily basis. Statistics show that manners matter, and most people are not interested in second dates with those so preoccupied with themselves, they don’t even realize they are being rude.
- If you see someone struggling to open a door, no matter their gender, offer assistance and open if for them—allowing them to enter first. Often times, I would watch people open the door, enough to let themselves in, ignoring the person who had their hands too full to reach for the handle. Painful to watch.
- Please and thank-you go a long way—especially if they are said in a genuine way as opposed to having a sarcastic undertone. Be considerate for other people’s time and patience, and remember your manners.
- Cell phone use is absolutely unacceptable in any form if you are communicating with a separate third party in person. This means do not text, talk or even have the phone up to your ear if you are involved in a conversation with someone else. For example, if it is your turn in line ANYWHERE (grocery store, coffee shop, drive-thru, pharmacy, etc) your priority needs to become the person you can see face-to-face. It is rude and dismissive to talk over people, no matter where they are.
- It is always a nice gesture to offer assistance into or out of a vehicle. Guys, you don’t have to take this to the extreme and open and close every car door, but on special occasions or when your date is in an outfit that may require some help (big dress, tall shoes, hard-to-move-in-ensemble) it is always comforting to know you have a hand if you need one. Falling on your butt is embarrassing for everyone.
- When out with company and ordering dinner, be sure to wait for all members of your party receive their order prior to indulging. Respect the company that you keep and be sure to wait until everyone is satisfied before inhaling your order.
- Show gratitude and appreciation to those who have helped you. Be it a server at a restaurant or bar, a car wash or gas station attendant, or even a retail helper that assisted in locating your hard to find item in the store, show that you are thankful. There is no bigger turn off than acting as though you are superior to others.
It is important to keep in mind that although the general public may not practice common courtesy on a daily basis, it is always better to treat others with generosity, as you may never know when you will meet them again. This list is simple, not extensive. I am eager to hear what you have to share with other readers!
For more info: For more information on the featured photo, click here.
Comments
Oh Megan I just wrote an article to promote chivalry in the Seattle area! Seattleites are known for being nice and polite. But it's not a warm and welcoming nice and polite like you find in some places in the Midwest. It's a politically correct nice and polite designed to avoid offending a diverse population. So chivalry is not an integral part of the male culture here, I suspect because men take care to avoid offending the sensibilities of a progressive educated female population. But I argue chivalry is needed and wanted because it demonstrates respect and appreciation. And most women are OK with displays of respect and appreciation. They just don't want to be patronized. Am I right?
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!