Women have a tendency to not believe certain things that a guy tells them. This is not to say that women believe men are lying. Not at all. We’re talking when a man is saying something that the woman does not want to believe is true. And this can lead to due suffering and a dragged out relationship that is not meant to be.
There are certain things that when a guy says them…women should listen right up, ears wide open. Do not argue back and try to convince the guy that he’s wrong. Do not feel bad for him and think that with enough love and caring that you can “help” him and his thinking will change. When a man says the following things…he means it. He is not beating around the bush…he is telling you something that must be taken at face value….he is essentially warning you…and if you fail to listen, really listen and respond appropriately, you will be very sorry in the end.
When a guy says the following, he means it 100% and you must believe him:
1. “I’m not ready for a relationship”. If he says this, he means it. It’s simple and clear cut to him…and if you allow it to be simple and clear cut to you…you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache. If you ignore what he’s saying or you think that with enough love he’ll change his mind…think again. He may continue seeing you, you may having amazing sex together, he may treat you nice….but he is not going to consider you a girlfriend and he is not going to commit to you or be exclusive with you. When he says he’s not ready, he’s not ready. And most of the time, if he is telling you this…he actually means “I’m not ready and if I ever do become ready, it most likely will not be with you”. You see, when a man reaches a point in his life when he’s ready to connect with someone and have a serious relationship, more often than not…it is not with the woman who slept with him and hung around him while he was playing the field.
2. “I’m not good enough for you”. There is a good reason that he is saying this and a woman must listen and believe him. Many women try to analyze this one too much. Some think that if they have a “better” or a higher paying job than the man, that this is what he means. No. Some women think that he just hasn’t had the right opportunity to really shine and show how he can be a great lover and boyfriend, but he can become a perfect mate with the right woman. No. Save your mind and heart the agonizing effort of trying to figure this one out. When he says that he is not good enough for you, he truly means it in the most simple can clear cut ways. He will be a player, he will lie, he will not give you what you deserve….he is not good enough for you and you’d be a fool not to listen. It is very hard to simply turn away from a man when you have feelings for him, that is very true. But when he says this, he is asking you to turn away…and walk away.
Many times a guy does not want to be the one to do the breaking up. He doesn’t want that burden on his shoulders….So he will tell you this. Please do yourself a favor and listen. He’s not saying it just for the heck of it. He’s saying it because it is true and you won’t be happy if you stay with him. One element that is very hard to deal with is if you have invested time and emotion into a guy for weeks or months…and THEN he tells you this. And you have every right to think that he was very wrong for waiting to tell you this. But given the circumstances…given the fact that he should have spoken up sooner, or better yet not even gotten involved with you….it is true that it’s “better late than never”. You don’t have to be happy about him “finally coming clean”…but do be happy that you have the ability and self confidence to end things the day he tells you this….so that you do not waste ONE more day with a man like this. Every day that ticks by is important, it’s another day that you can meet the one for you. So, despite the fact that he already wasted a bunch of your time, don’t allow him to waste any more time.
3. “I’ve never been in love”. This is a tricky sentence for a woman to hear. Now, this is not meant in the context of the 2 of you in bed, cuddling, he tells you that he loves you and then adds on that “he’s never been in love like this before”. No. This is referring to a man over 30, this is not relevant to a younger man who may not have had the right opportunity to fall in love. This is when you meet a man and are getting to know him. Part of getting to know someone is to learn about their past. If a man who is 30 years or older tells you that he has NEVER fallen in love with anyone…this means that he is not capable of falling in love with you. Please do yourself a favor and do not believe that your love, caring, kindness, sexiness is going to change him. While there will always be a very small number of cases that are the exception to the rule...if a man says that he has never been in love, this almost always means that he is not capable of loving you…or anyone. He does not allow himself to trust…or to be vulnerable…or to open his heart to love.
Emotionally healthy people fall in love at some points in their lives…whether it is reciprocated or not…or whether it is a crush…it’s a normal part of human development. It’s not your job to try and analyze him, “help” him, or “show him the way”. He doesn’t want to know the way. So, honey, when he says he has never been in love, take it for face value and find someone who is capable of loving the wonderful, sexy, loving woman that you are.
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