The holidays are here. Several parties involving close friends and families will be coming at us quickly almost every weekend until the New Year. You’ve just started dating someone new. What do you do? How do you approach the topic of parties and (dread!) meeting the families.  When we start dating someone so close to the holidays, it’s hard to know if we should include them in some holiday merriment. Casual parties are usually the festivities you feel more comfortable bringing your new girl/boyfriend. When is it ok to invite your new beau to a family party? The holidays are a stressful time for a lot of people. Most people have some sort of dysfunction in their family and it can be embarrassing or you feel it could drive them away. The relationship is rather new, and do you want to bring them into your family if you’re not sure it will last through the New Year.

Use your best judgment. If it seems to be going at a pace where you are both ready to become exclusive and you feel comfortable introducing him/her to your family, go for it, but do your prep work--on both sides. Prep your mate on the ins and outs of your family. You don’t have to go through every gory detail, but share the pertinent things. Give them a low down of who will be there and how they are related. Let them know that Aunt June may have a few too many glasses of wine and grill you on what your intentions are. Let him/her know of any unique family traditions that you will have to partake in so they are not caught off guard when they are forced to sing a solo of Silent Night.

Give your family a heads up. If you haven’t told them you are dating someone that’s OK, but if you plan to bring them to a holiday party, you might want to let the cat out of the bag. For one thing, your mate would like to know that you talk about them and your family knows they exist. It will definitely create a more welcoming atmosphere for your new friend to come into a high anxiety situation. Second, it won’t take your family off guard that you are bringing a stranger into the home. They will be prepared and ask YOU questions about your relationship, not your date, and they will be expecting someone new joining the party.
 

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