Bungalow with a shared kitchen - a true story

  Bungalow

An odd twist of circumstances led me to live for two months in a bungalow where I shared a kitchen with two other housing units. A Punjabi Indian couple, completing their residencies at local hospitals, lived on the first floor with their beautiful eight-month-old daughter. An engineer lived in the basement apartment, a refugee from the auto industry. Other than his bitterness at having to leave his comfortable Michigan home and family during the week for contract work in Chicago, and having an autistic teenage son, he was a nice enough chap.  I lived on the second floor.

I didn't relish the disruption but the experience was surprisingly rewarding on many levels. It was proof positive that, even though none of us knew each other, we got along well and it worked fine. Actually choosing and living long term with house mates would certainly change the tenor of the relationships but I was encouraged by the potential of it. The kitchen, of course, was the focal point where we kibitzed over bottles of wine and sampled each others' dishes. It was far more interesting and palate pleasing than cooking for myself.

As this wrenching economic collapse takes its toll, many people feel uncertain about their jobs if they have one, or getting one if they don't. The Mortgage Bankers Association reports that mortgages on 4 million homes are 90 days past due or in foreclosure. It anticipates that foreclosure rates will worsen before they improve.

The Center for Housing Policy publication Something's Gotta Give reported in 2005, before the collapse, that 44.3 percent of families paid over 50% of their income for housing and transportation costs. The consequences are that families cut back on food, medical care and time with their children just to keep a roof over their heads and get to and from work. The housing insecurity of millions gives fresh urgency to consider alternatives.

Interim Landing Places Followed by Durable Long Term Solutions

We urgently need interim housing arrangements to provide safe landing places so that people displaced from their homes can stabilize and figure out workable long term housing. The short and long term solutions will be best met by people coming together for mutual encouragement and tangible support.

Long term, housing cooperatives have the best track record of providing safe, decent and affordable housing for people of modest means and have proven to be more long lasting than many private developments. Indeed, some cooperatives have operated successfully for over forty years. No small part of this success is the opportunity for ownership in a democratically organized corporation in which each housing unit has an equal vote.

Another long term solution could be house sharing, which may work well for some and not for others.  Having lived at various times within my large, Irish Catholic family, two different husbands and assorted roommates, I am a veteran of shared housing, running the gamut from extremely pleasant to downright hellish. Some view with living with others as a one-way ticket to hell. For others, it's a lifeline. Under the right circumstances, with the right people, it can be a richly rewarding experience. To successfully share a dwelling with others requires that 1) house mates must be compatible; 2) all adults must be on equal footing with no landlord/tenant mentality; 3) the dwelling itself must be suitable, i.e. large enough; 4) there must be a commitment to making it work.

Many people see the downside of living with others without considering the upside. When I envision the potential of house sharing, I see multiple generations selecting each other because they are compatible. Liking someone and being able to live with them are two different things.

The logical place to age

Although aging is the natural consequence of a long life, currently people go to retirement homes, assisted living facilities and eventually to nursing homes because the resources to manage these various stages are beyond our capacity. In an inter-generational household, it would not have to be that way. In a large enough house, the resources to care for ill and aging people could exist within the household. Not everyone would rush off to work  and some people could be at home for large parts of the day. The key to make this palatable is actually liking the people that you live with and practicing the skill of harmonious living, based on clear communication. Theoretically, in a large enough house, if someone requires round the clock nursing, a spare bedroom is a heck of a bargain compared to a nursing home. This can be far more satisfying for all concerned.

The stage is set for a new housing paradigm, whether we are ready for it or not. As we individually and collectively consider our options, joining forces for mutual benefit is the compelling imperative as we witness the breathtaking and heartbreaking changes in this country. Together, we can rise to the challenges that we face. As loners, our options are grim indeed.