Examiner.com

  This isn't actually the cover box for Titanic 2, but it may as well be.

Whenever you're in Blockbuster and you see movies like Transmorphers: Revenge of The Fallin' or Indiana James and The Kingdom of The Crystal Head-Bone, there's a good chance that the film studio Asylum is behind that movie.  The studio's made thousands of dollars by cranking out movies that your grandmother will mistake for real movies whenever she's doing her Christmas shopping, or movies that will be accidentally rented or purchased by an inattentive parent on their way through a store.  Despite producing some of their own properties like MegaShark VS. Giant Octopus, Asylum now appears to be getting into the sequels game.  And, as with anything to do with Asylum, if it's worth achieving FAIL, it's best to do it with the biggest FAIL possible.  As such, we have the trailer for Titanic 2 for you below, my gentle Examiner readers...

Years ago, whoever was hosting the MTV Movie Awards the year following Titanic's release-- I'm fairly certain that it was Ben Stiller-- taped a sketch wherein Stiller pitched the idea of Titanic 2 to James Cameron.  The plot would involve going back to the wreckage of the Titanic, finding an entire colony of survivors who had developed gills, and a rekindling of the love story between Jack and Rose, the two main characters in Cameron's epic.  Needless to say, that movie never happened, but that hasn't stopped Asylum from cooking up their own version:

Yeah, that just happened.  That's Bruce Davison in the lead role, by the way, a character actor whom I thought knew better than to get mixed up in something like this.  Apparently, someone must be behind on the electric bill in the Davison household.  As you know, FAIL on this scale is rarely achieved, so I think it's probably only appropriate that we all take a moment of silence for Asylum and its newest creation.  Titanic 2 will arrive in stores on August 24th, and if you're looking forward to that, I suggest that you think long and hard about the life decisions you've been making recently. 

Stay tuned for more funny videos, news, reviews, interviews, and other nonsense from the Comedy Examiner's Office in the near future, my friends.  We've got all manner of time-killing nonsense to keep you non-productive at work, so hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your inbox, free of charge, the moment they're published.  Here's what we've been up to lately:

AMAZING PHOTO: "THE AVENGERS" ASSEMBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THE 2010 COMIC-CON STAGE, AND IT'S AWESOME-- in which Marvel Studios gets everyone in The Avengers onstage at the same time for the first time.  Even if you're not a comic book geek, it's a pretty cool sight.  Check it out here.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL-- "INCEPTION" HAS DOMINATED AT THE BOX OFFICE FOR TWO STRAIGHT WEEKS-- in which the inevitable occurs and Chris Nolan's latest keeps Angelina Jolie's latest in second place.  In other news, The Sorcerer's Apprentice looks ready to join Jonah Hex in the "Hell, No, I Won't Be Seeing That Movie" club.

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS A "HYSTERICAL FIT" AFTER INMATES CHANT "FIRE CROTCH" AT HER IN JAIL-- in which Lindsay Lohan doesn't seem to be making any friends while behind bars.  Also in which Lohan's notorious nickname rears its ugly head for the first time in years (OK, probably not years, but you get the idea).

BREAKING NEWS: IS DWIGHT SCHRUTE GOING TO BATTLE THE BATMAN IN "THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS"?  THAT'S THE RUMOR-- in which we examiner the rumor that Rainn Wilson, best known as Dwight on NBC's The Office, will be playing The Riddler in the next Batman movie.  Oh, and we also supposedly know who else is in the film, what it's called, and who the other villain is.  Take it with all the salt you can find, people.

(photos: top--hollywood-elsewhere.com, bottom--screencap)