BREAKING NEWS: January 10th is national 'No Pants Day', and you're invited to join the festivities

           "No Pants Day 2010" is this Sunday, Dallas: prepare yourself for the festivities

You may have never heard of "Improv Everywhere", but it's about time you did.  The NYC-based group/army stages large-scale acts of silliness in their home city, and have managed to kickstart something that's come to be known as "No Pants Day".  With the annual celebration just around the corner, it's time that Dallas residents get onboard with what Improv Everywhere's members have known for years: everything's better without pants.  Read on for the details, my gentle Examiner readers...

If you haven't heard of Improv Everywhere, your first order of business is to spend some time poking around their website and marveling at some of the large-scale pranks these guys have pulled off over the years.  Our personal favorite? Dressing several hundred people in blue Polo shirts and khakis and turning them loose inside a Best Buy.  Genius to its very core.

One event that Improv Everywhere has pulled off for years is "No Pants Day", which started with a little under 100 people riding New York's train system sans pants.  The following year, twice the amount of people showed up.  By the third year, schedules and detailed breakdowns for who'd ride what train became necessary.  The trend has spread across the world, with "No Pants Day" being recognized and celebrated as far away as Amersterdam and Australia.  Here, check out footage from last year's "No Pants Day" in NYC:

And now "No Pants Day" 2010 is upon us.   This'll be going on everywhere, but for the first time, Dallas residents are also being given the opportunity to participate in the greatest holiday the world has ever known (excluding, perhaps, Festivus).  For information on gatherings in your city, visit the Improv Everywhere site and look for some others that may be trying to organize pantsless individuals in your city.  As for you, Dallasites...

On January 10th, 2010 (that's this Sunday, people, so get your pants, uh, ready to be not-worn), Dallas will officially add itself to the list of cities all over the world that have celebrated "No Pants Day", and we couldn't be happier.  Interested?  Here's the requirements according to the information we received from Brian Alguire (sorry about the typo, Brian), who's putting this masterpiece of public pranking together:

REQUIREMENTS FOR PARTICIPATION:

1) Willing to take pants off on light rail.
2) Able to keep a straight face about it.

**THIS IS A PARTICIPATORY EVENT. DO NOT SHOW UP UNLESS YOU PLAN TO TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.**

DETAILS
When: Sunday, January 10 at 2:00 PM Sharp! (Over by around 4:00)
Bring: A backpack and money for fare
Wear: Normal clothes (hat, jacket, etc)
Complete logistics below:

Now, the instructions that we received were quite lengthy, and originally we were just going to have Brian explain the whole thing in an interview here at the Comedy Examiner's Office.  In the interest of getting the word out early, though, we're just going to pass along the instructions we've already received for you to look over.  Here's what they say:

We are meeting up at the Union Station at 2:00PM. We do not know what the turn out will look like for this first year so we're keeping things somewhat flexible. If turn out is low, we will be riding the Red line North up to Parker Road Station and then back to Union Station. If enough people show up we will be taking over the North bound Blue out to the Downtown Garland station as well. If turn out is ridiculous, we will stagger groups on both lines. A new train comes by for one of the two lines every ten minutes. People will be divided into groups and assigned cars so we're not all bunched up on one or two of them.

When we're organized, we will all head down to the platform together. Do not talk to others once your on the platorm or on the train. No one knows each other. (Or at least we're pretending we don't!) We will wait for a DART train to arrive, and all board the cars.

Sit in the car as you normally would. Read a magazine or whatever you would normally do. If you want to sit in small groups with your friends, that's okay. Just pretend that you don't know any of the other pantless people on the train.

At some random point after you board the train, stand up and take your pants off and put them in your backpack. If you'd like to use a briefcase, purse, grocery bag, or whatever instead of a backpack that's fine too. You are responsible for your own pants and they should be with you at all times. If anyone asks you why you've removed your pants, make something up. You can say something like you were "getting uncomfortable", or you "got too hot" (or something along those lines.)

The point that Laguire is getting at there is to appear nonchalant while dealing with anyone who's not in on the joke.  People are obviously going to ask you what the hell you're thinking, and it's important to A) keep a straight face, and B) not to let on that this is a mass-prank; that robs the whole ordeal of its greatness.  Check out some more footage, here seen on David Letterman's "Late Show" from a couple years back:

At this point, you may be concerned that participating in "No Pants Day 2010" will get you thrown into one of Dallas' lovely jails.  Fear not, my pantsless friend, they've already got that part figured out.  Here's what the instructions say about that particular scenario:

You must wear underwear! While there is nothing in Texas penal code about being in public in your underwear, it is illegal to expose your noughty bits. You can wear fun underwear if you like, but nothing that screams out "I wore this because I'm doing a silly stunt." Wear two pairs of underwear if it makes you feel more comfortable. Don't wear a thong or anything else that might offend people. Our aim is to make people laugh, not p-ss them off.

Yes, "must wear underwear".  That same old song and dance.  Look, they've been telling me that for years, and until I can walk around outside of my home without pants like the Good Lord intended, this country isn't truly "free".  But I digress: the point here is that, barring one breaking the rules listed above, there shouldn't be any cause for arrest.  Not wearing pants in public may be dumb, and you may be freezing, but it's not going to land you in the pokey if you do it the proper way.

You can read more about "No Pants Day" over at THIS PAGE on the Improv Everywhere website.  I've been in touch with Brian Alguire and will be conducting a brief interview with him in the days to come, so keep your eyes peeled for that followup and further instructions that might arrive concerning your participation in "No Pants Day '10".  We don't know about you guys, but we're super excited to see how this all goes down.  Here's hoping that it all works, "No Pants" fans!

Stay tuned for more on this as it develops, folks, as well as more shenanigans from the Comedy Examiner's Office.  We've got news, reviews, interviews, funny videos, recaps, and all manner of other shenanigans to keep you busy while you're supposedly being productive at work.  Why, just look at all the fun you've been missing by not being signed up already:

FUNNY VIDEO: WILLIAM SHATNER DESPERATELY WANTS TO MAKE LOVE TO A MOUNTAIN (WITH VIDEO)-- in which the Captain of the Starship Enterprise professes his love for mountain ranges.  It's weird.

JOHN TRAVOLTA LOOKS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS IN NEW "FROM PARIS, WITH LOVE" TRAILER (WITH VIDEO)-- in which we make fun of the trailer to John Travolta's upcoming action/"comedy".

SEAN PENN BACK ABOARD THE "THREE STOOGES" REMAKE?  THAT'S THE WORD ON THE STREET-- in which we find out that the "Mystic River" star is set to appear as Larry in the Farrelly Brothers' "Three Stooges" reboot.  This is really happening.

FUNNY NEWS: DID JAMES CAMERON REALLY RIP-OFF DISNEY'S "POCAHONTAS" TO MAKE "AVATAR"?-- in which we look at one very funny picture that seems to have cracked the case on the "Avatar"/"Pocahontas" connection.

 (photo: improveverywhere.com)