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I started this article as a response to a reader comment, but it is in fact a reminder to myself.

In a previous article, Lodebar, the Dark Night of the Soul, I tried to write about what it feels like to be in a deep, dark hole, where nothing you try seems to work and nothing you think seems to make sense. Does anyone see you? Does anyone care? Does God remember you? Does God care? I know my wife loves me and I know she would be heart-broken if something happened to me, but there have been times ....

Everyone thinks of Job and there are many Psalms that echo this feeling and then there is Mephibosheth. I guess what gives me the most consolation; however, is another story that has been told over and over again. No, it is not the recent conversations about Mother Teresa's personal struggle with faith; though her humanity gives me hope. It is not revisiting the 16th century poem by the Carmelite priest Saint John of the Cross, though that too helps.

It is the story of Jesus, not the story we so often hear, but the story in Mark. The earliest version ends with an empty tomb. Read Mark and stop at the empty tomb. How does that make you feel?

We know Matthew and Luke came after Mark because they copied some sections word for word, but they do not end with an empty tomb. Updates to the original version of Mark do not end with an empty tomb either.

Imagine living at the time of Jesus. For the majority of the people it was not much of a life. Small farmers who mostly did not own their own farm, shepherds, tradesmen, poverty, disease, all in the shadow of high taxes, wealth and cruelty. A person's life meant little, except to family and friends. How is the story of a messiah dying on the cross supposed to give me hope?

Rightly so we focus on the resurrection, but what did Jesus feel on the cross? I'm not talking about the indescribable pain and suffering he endured, but what did his heart feel when he called out to his Father and heard only silence. Was this not a better time to hear, "This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased?"

The Bible says nothing. Jesus received no encouragement, no consolation, no comfort. He looked up to a silent sky, cold and barren it proclaimed, "No one home." Why do we forget this?

The Bible says nothing about legions of angels, the Holy Spirit or the Father. Where was the vision that comforted Steven as he was being stoned to death? For that moment in history, for that moment in time, Jesus was alone. I don't understand it. Do you?

Could he have been alone to comfort you and me?

The book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is not a stranger to the things we suffer. Would you feel like a failure if you were laughed at, mocked, beaten and nailed to a cross in front of a large crowd of people, including your mother? Do you think Jesus did? He is not a stranger to mocking, rejection, pain and suffering.

Wonder of wonders, Jesus is not a stranger to what it feels like to be alone. So when he tells us we will never be alone, I believe it. I believe he knows better than I ever will ... what alone feels like.