Embrace the loneliness on the journey to a positive change

In taking control of your life, you must seek to replace the "negative" with positive relationships and experiences. However, most positive people tend to avoid negative people and situations. Although the Bible encourages us to bear each other's burdens, unfortunately, you might find yourself alone as you begin the process of renewing your mind.

This is the reason former Durham native, Dr. Shirley Clark established "My Sister's Keeper" network to encourage women to support and uplift each other. A kick-off conference was held on June 25th and 26th at the Houlton Career and Resource Center in Durham, NC. Another conference convenes this weekend in Pine Bluff, AR and later this summer (Aug. 27-28) in Oklahoma City, OK. At the end of the conference, local liaisons are chosen to help plan local networking activities throughout the year.

The conference roster includes motivational speaker and Wilson, NC native, Tawana Williams, who in spite of being born with no arms authored the book "Unarmed But Dangerous." The book details her inspirational triumph over her situation." In her speech Williams outlines a formula for making positive change. One component - "eliminate toxic relationships and toxic people from your life." This is a necessary step for change, if most of your relationships have been toxic. However, if you do this, prepare to be alone for a season.

However,  loneliness is not a bad thing. In the July 14 article, "Getting past the loneliness", Raleigh's Christian Relationship Examiner explores how a period of loneliness" may be a call to preparation for a greater work" in your life. So embrace loneliness as a healing balm that cleanses your emotional and spiritual pallet of the negative past and prepares you for a more positive future. You can consider reconciling old relationships when you feel strong enough to demand healthier terms.

You should also realize that you are never really alone. The book of Deuteronomy depicts how the Israelites eliminated a "toxic relationship" - bondage under Egyptian rule; yet were alone in the wilderness. God spoke through Moses as he was passing the leadership to Joshua, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." The Israelites then were able to conquer and occupy the Promised Land.

Just as the wilderness experience was a necessary step for the Israelite's deliverance from bondage, a period of loneliness is a time to reflect and reconnect to God on your journey to "occupy" His promises for your life.

Therefore, loneliness has its season. Embrace the process. Use this time to renew your mind. Seek opportunities to be around positive people, such as a church networking group, a hobby club, local civic groups, or the "My Sister's Keeper" network. When the time is right, you can begin to reconcile old toxic relationships. However, only do so when you feel strong enough to renegotiate a more positive relationship.