Interview with Kathi Lipp, author of 'The Husband Project' and now 'The Marriage Project'
Kathi Lipp is one of most engaging authors I know. She is funny, witty, sometimes gritty but always enjoyable.
Read the interview below and check out website for some wonderful family time tips and ideas.
EX: Kathi, you talk about a time in your life when your marriage wasn’t all that you hoped for. What were some of the things that you wanted to improve in your own marriage?
Kathi: Let me be clear – I love my husband Roger, but, this is a second marriage for both of us. I knew the statistics regarding remarriages are pretty bleak. But, I guess we were hoping that we would be the exception to the rule and would avoid all the drama – yeah, not so much… With both of us having two teens, plus both becoming step-parents to two teens, we had our challenges waiting for us.
That is when Roger came up with the watch word for our marriage – “Intentional”. Whatever problems came up we were going to deal with them head on – not avoid them as we both did in our first marriages. The Marriage Project is one of the results of that – being intentional about making it work.
EX: So, how does The Marriage Project work?
Kathi: The Marriage Project is like a workout program for your marriage – only with less sweat and more chocolate. You commit to do fun and flirty things for 21 days to raise the temperature of your marriage – everything from flirty notes on the bathroom mirror to more lingerie in the bedroom. It is a little bit of work – and a whole lot of fun.
EX: How did you come up with the Projects?
Kathi: We ran 40 projects past 200 couples – most of them at our church in San Jose, CA. The ones that had the biggest impact – usually involving food and sex – stayed, while some of the ones that had the least impact got tossed. That’s how we came up with 21 pretty solid projects that both the husbands and the wives felt were fun and had an impact on their relationship.
EX: Most couples already may feel overwhelmed, so how can they fit these projects into their already busy schedules?
Kathi: Roger and I have real lives – lots of kids, little money, and even less time. So we made sure that the projects were as “doable” as possible. Most of the projects take less than five minutes.
EX: What’s the biggest reason that women stop putting effort into romancing their husbands?
Kathi: Time was the overwhelming factor for the women – between kids and jobs, home responsibilities and other family, it was easy to let their relationship with their husbands go on auto pilot.
EX: How about the guys? What are some of the reasons a man may give up on romance?
Kathi: Surprisingly, most of the men wanted more romance with their wives, but didn’t feel like they were doing it “right”. “Will she be mad if I get her the wrong kind of flowers?” “What if she doesn’t like the gift I got her?” “It doesn’t matter what I do, she isn’t going to like it anyways.” If felt like a lot of the men wanted to do the right thing, but felt overwhelmed by “getting it right”.
EX: You talk a lot about dating your mate in The Marriage Project. With all of the pressures of the economy, job stress, and family obligations, why do you think dating your spouse is so important?
Kathi: Dating is what helps us fall in love in the first place. It is the thing that most married couples give up first after saying “I do.” But dating is a great way to take a little retreat from those things that can pull us away from each other. At first you may have to look at dating as a project – setting aside time, money and energy for something (or someone) that is important.
I know that it can be expensive to date, but if you are creative, you can have a fun date for under $20.
EX: Are there really dates you can do for less than $20?
Kathi: Absolutely. In fact, we have a list on my website with 20 Dates for under $20.
EX: What about if you have kids? How can you keep those costs down with the expense of babysitting?
Kathi: Starting January 15th, we are going to have great ideas on how to date with kids on my blog. You are going to love the ideas that all our readers are contributing!
About Kathi
Kathi Lipp is a national speaker and author who inspires women to take beneficial action steps in their personal, marital and spiritual lives. Her wit and wisdom will give you new ways to:
* Avoid settling for less than God’s loving plan for your life.
* Develop new levels of warmth and tenderness with your husband
* Return fun and flirting to your marriage
* Boost your confidence to follow God-given dreams and goals.
* Create and environment of encouragement in your friendships
Join Kathi and renovate your life with a project for your soul!
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