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Mariah's latest stunt: Mr. and Mrs. Starfish
In 2008, it was highly rumored that Mariah's shotgun wedding with Nick Cannon was a publicity stunt to help move the slow moving E=MC2 album. Publicity stunt or not, the marriage backfired as Mariah's musical career fell faster than a boulder. Most of the singles off of E-MC2 bombed and Mariah even cancelled a planned tour due to the fact that she probably wouldn't sell any tickets.
In 2009, Mariah tried to turn things around with the album Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel. Despite heavy promotion, the album has become one of the biggest bombs ever by a major recording artist. She has far been outsold by comeback queen Whitney Houston, who scored a major hit with I Look to You.
Here is our suggestion for Mariah's latest publicity stunt: Marry Patrick Starfish from SpongeBob SquarePants! They both have a lot in common, especially the fact that starfish have no brains. This way, Mariah can try and appeal to the kiddies. She can duet with Patrick and possibly score a hit that actually charts, unlike her latest pile of crap I Want to Know What Love Is. We think this is Mariah's best route. What do you guys think Mariah should do?
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Comments
i think mariah should keep on making music.
who cares about album sales and radio airplay?
i love her music and that's all it matters.
she's an inspiration, and i listen to her songs every day.
OMG the idiot who wrote this article needs to lose their job.... Mariah Carey will not always be #1 even tho she has the most number ones for any solo artist so STOP HATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even with her worst album ever GLITTER she still makes more money than you!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh...this is absolutely hysterical! Sue, you are a nut (in a good way!)
Mariah Carey is very busy working, promoting her new film while Sue or Randy Aaron or whatever is busy criticising her to death. No matter what you say, whatever nasty idea you put up on her, you can never touch her. Mariah will sell. An artist comes to a point when they don't sell much as they used to. In just 4 years time, Mariah has released 3 albums already. You don't expect everything to be a huge hit. From what I recall, Madonna's last album barely made it to platinum status in the US. Admittedly, Mariah songs nowadays are mediocre. But when Mariah gets back to her true potential, singing songs that really suit her true vocal prowess, she will sell immensely. Don't expect Mariah to just fade away from the business with that kind of voice she's got. Have you heard the leaked track, ''100 Percent''? She kills every other female artists with those kind of vocals.
Sue, you are truly an ugly person. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I almost choked on my dinner because I was laughing so hard. Great article!
Funniest article I have ever read on this site. And the picture...priceless.
I'm sure Mariah doesn't have a spare time to read any of your nonsense articles. Because she's busy with her life, love and career. I doubt if she even have the time to browse the web. Successful people can never be brought down by stupid negative articles like this made by idiotic, irrational human beings like you. You and your articles are the last things that will ever matter to her. It's not Mariah who looks pathetic with the derogatory things you're saying about her. It's you who's looking so miserable. Compared to Mariah Carey, you're just a bacteria. Lol!
Mariah's lambs are on their last legs. This article is hilarious satire. Don't blame the author - blame Ms. Bigbreasts.
sue is desperate, please just ignore her
I sort of like Mariah but have to admit that this article is hilarious.
lol what a moron. I still like reading her reviews because they are hilarious but this is just SOOOO LOW! lmao, i think i saw shes on twitter. she needs to start tweeting more of this nonsense
As a fan from way back, this article made me laugh out loud. Mariah has lost the voice and all the bikinis, breast implants, and lip gloss in the world won't bring that back. I have to give her credit for what she accomplished in the 90s and for creating some great bubble gum pop that will live on forever as the start of a genre, but the 00s have been very unkind to her catalog. Mimi is not someone I can support, but if Mariah Carey ever decides to come back, I'll be first in line to buy the album from "The Voice".
The truly funny thing is that all the positive comments that say sue is soo funny. are actually written by sue herself. Jokes on you sue.
Mariah- $300,000,000, hot husband, career, voice
Sue-Lonley life, misery, people hate you
For whoever wrote that article, compared to Mariah Carey you are like micro-bacteria, not bacteria. She has an amazing voice and handsome husband. Plus she has more number 1 hits than anyone ...18. And you have to remember that she has been through alot so some of her songs werent meant to be number 1 hits but they come from the heart.
This is serious Sue (I'm not joking), I am using black magic to attack you. It doesn't work when intended for someone with a good mind, but your case is different. You've been insulting one person one too many times. Showing your photo is a huge mistake because.....BLACK MAGIC ......
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