In reading Examiner's Bill Fitzgerald's recent satirical article on The Baker's Dozen for Avoiding Conflict it brought to mind that everyone views conflict as negative. Why is that? Perhaps it's because Merriam-Webster's definition tells us so, which is: Fight, War, Battle followed by a second definition of, competitive or opposing action of incompatibles. But it doesn't always have to be so literal. Opposing conflicting ideas are great. They are what foster competitiveness in business and what make innovation happen and as a result, give people choice.

Now in the work place it can sometimes get hairy, but how you choose to respond to that could make all the difference in whether or not it results in fierce competition, a blood bath or an amiable lunch that results in a compromise.

According to the National Network for Women’s Employment, “Conflicts arise in a number of ways: disagreements between co-workers, jealousy of positions or salaries, gossip, or office politics can all create uncomfortable situations.” The best way to handle conflict is to listen to the other person and figure out if you really have a conflict. If you do, talk through the problem to see if there is a way for you to come to a compromise. If you are really dealing with someone stubborn, then you can always escalate. But if that's not an option, then sit back and think, a year from now, will this really even matter? Chances are that it won't and you can leave it be. But if it will, then maybe escalating to a supervisor isn't such a bad idea.

Here are my five favorite tips from National Network for Women’s Employment on how to handle conflict:.

1. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t automatically assume that people are out to make you look bad.
2. Remember, everyone thinks differently and no one can read your mind. Don’t expect others to know what you’re thinking or what you want done.
3. Don’t accuse people falsely or before you know the whole story.
4. Don’t attempt to match another person’s behavior. Two wrongs
   don’t make a right.
5. Don’t complain to others about the conflict or the other person. The conflict is between you and that person, it is not an office wide event.

And remember, communication and trust are the keys to any successful relationship. It’s not always the words you say, but your tone and your body language also contribute. If you think someone may have misinterpreted you, smile and reassure them you didn’t mean to be hurtful or offensive.

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