So here I am at work, minding my own business, when some business people come to talk to the Corporate Heads and just happen to have a sample of this new energy drink, and ask to please give it to their Caffeine Examiner. This drink was, they said, "very potent and used by hardcore athletes and military types because of their unbreakable vial it comes in. That was when these businessmen whipped out their new exciting drink for me to test.It was a dildo.
Mind you, maybe standing upside down on the desk it could have been mistaken for a giant test tube - but really, any way you looked at this it was something you, or the family member who caught you, would need therapy if caught with this package in private. ("No - really Mom - its an energy drink!"). Sometimes it is difficult to get past the packaging of some objects - like Brookstone Pressure Point Massagers, but it is nearly impossible to not look at this package and know what is going on. The problem is, I really doubt the tubular-shaped, sugar-free 2.9-ounce energy drink was designed with any other reason in mind. Even the pesky label can easily be pulled off the packaging leaving the bullet free of writing and exposed. They should have completely embraced the drink's packaging and worked with it, as opposed to giving it out in race tracks and pretending this drink is something for macho guys and hardcore athletes. I would LOVE to see them release this drink in, say, a peach flavor.
They just managed to secure a deal with 7-11 to be able to have their bullets in stores nationwide. I have already seen this in GNC - but now they can they can test if their product will actually sell to the overglutted market of energy shots. I wonder how this will do when stacked with 5 hour energys, NOS powershots and the rest of the shots littering their checkout counter.
Taste:8
Overall, the flavor was pretty good! compared to so many other shots, this one is even possible to be drank slowly, as it tastes more like blueberry Kool-Aid than your average energy drink syrup. However, like most of these drinks, the flavor is much improved if you stick it in the fridge for a little while before you drink it. While this drink is pretty powerful, it is not overly bitter or sour, instead lightly sweetened and masks the caffeine well. Compared to other energy shots, this one is one of the best.
Nutrition:8
While ounce per ounce this is not the strongest out there ( Upshots are much smaller and have 200mg, and spike shots have more caffeine as well) it is still a very serious dose. The caffeine is anhydrous, which always affects me more than a more natural kind. Slamming this will definitely get you buzzed - the energy ingredients will get you very pumped and help you get what you need done ( you have no idea how hard it is to keep back the juvenile sex jokes from creeping in here...) I like the fact that, even though it has a prop blend, they list the 300mg of Caffeine. This has all the B vitamin stuff and gluroconate as well as folic acid and magnesium too. While not over the top, this is still a very solid list of ingredients and a very powerful buzz.
Website: http://www.isatoritech.com 8
While they don't have a site specifically for this product, they do list in on the Isatori website. Their little section on the drink is very informative, however, with a full ingredients list, a FAQ about the drink as well as links to the company itself. The code is all written in .net, and is very serious about online business. While I would not go to this site for fun, or for silly screenshot downloads, I have absolutely no problem getting all the information I need to know in a very forthright and easy-to-navigate manner. They do have a really nice online cart for you to purchase this online - which has me wondering if it is sent in plain brown packaging.











Comments
I have so many things to say, but none are appropriate. Thanks for taking one for the team!
WHAT A SICK AND TWISTED PRODUCT!
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