A example of what happens when leaders forget that leadership is service

I was going to let this story go without recording it. It’s so ridiculous and short-sighted that I just didn’t want to attribute any value to it by re-telling it. But it’s haunting me. Badly. And so it’s my hope that I getting it all down on paper I can release it from my mind.

On Thursday night I took a walk with a friend of mine through Riverside Park. She had had a really bad day at work, and was in need of a sympathetic year. In a nutshell, she had her annual review with her boss and as part of that review discussed her goals for the year with him. She expressed her desire to help break down the silos in her company by building relationships across departments. This is a strength of hers and she wanted to utilize it in her current role to increase efficiencies, spur innovative and creative ideas, and generate a more collegial work environment. Logical, right? Not to her boss.

After having a good laugh at her expense, he told her that she was playing a “fool’s game” by thinking that she had any kind of ability to break down silos in a company.

“This place doesn’t work that way. No place does,” he said.

“But I’ve done this before at other companies. And the wide depth and breadth of experience that I have could really help the company. I understand a lot of different job functions and industries and by building cross-functional relationships, I can really help the company during this tough time.”

“I think you’re confusing knowledge with ability and I wouldn’t recommend that you build a career based on knowledge,” he retorted.

Now, I didn’t realize that knowledge and ability were mutually exclusive. And I am pretty sure that there are many people who have built successful careers based on knowledge.

“Do yourself a favor,” he said. “Don’t set yourself up for failure. Focus on something you can really do. Work on your Powerpoint skills. Learn to manage your time better so you don’t have to work so many hours.”

My friend stared at her boss in confusion. “I still don’t understand what needs to go in these goals.”

And here is the real kicker of the story.

“Let me explain something to you with an example,” he said. “I believe in taking care of the customer and the shareholder. I don’t give a sh** about the employee. So I’d never put into my goals ‘build stronger relationships with my team members’ because I don’t care about them. I’d hate doing it and I wouldn’t be any good at it because I don’t want to be any good at it. See what I mean?”

“I see exactly what you mean,” my friend said. And with that she walked out of her boss’s office. If the economy was better, she would have been back 10 minutes later with her letter of resignation.  Unfortunately, the economy’s miserable and so she’s a little bit stuck at the moment.

Or is she? This is where the hopeful point comes in. Imagine if my friend had been at this job for many years and had poured her life into this role, into this company, into forming a relationship with her boss (or at least attempting to.) It would mean that she wasted a whole lot of time on something that in the long run didn’t yield much value. And she’s too talented and too passionate to have that happen to her. She cares too deeply to work for a company, or at least a boss, who doesn’t care about her. And now she knows she can place her caring some place else. Plus, she has deep and broad experience, and is willing to use it to help her employer. Could you imagine a better resource for a company to have during a recession?

My friend is also a little hard-headed. She needs the Universe to really kick her around before she actually understands something that she would prefer to deny. For a little while she’s been telling herself that her jerk boss just wasn’t aware of his behavior. Now she’s found that not only is he aware of his behavior, he actually cultivates it and is proud of it. He is beyond the point of repair. He doesn’t see leadership as service. He doesn’t see leadership as anything but a synonym for “pushing other people around.”

This kind of “leader” is dangerous, and I fear all too common in corporate America. One very positive thing that will come out of this economy is that people like this guy won’t survive and neither will their companies. When we talk about casualties that will result from the paradigm shift that is happening in the market, we’re talking about him. If you can’t build relationships and partnerships to deliver greater value with fewer resources, you are a goner.

So while my friend won’t be able to get rid of her boss, the market will. The days of brutal bosses without empathy who beat the heck out of their teams because they think they can, will go the way of the dinosaurs. Companies need to get the best from their people, or perish. There is no other option. And the best way to get the best from your people is to treat them well, value their contributions, and find a way to make their strengths work in favor of the company.