When Matthew Nelson of Green, Ohio was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in his mid twenties he thought about the possibility of disability for the first time in his life. “What if I can’t drive? What if I can’t walk? What if I can’t work?...What if I can’t have sex?” Were the questions that ran though his mind.
Twenty-four years later his fears have not been realized but the empathy that developed from the fear has endured. Subsequently, Nelson started a company that caters to the needs of handicapped people. Like the twenty-four year old man he was when he was diagnosed, his mind bypassed driving, walking and working and set to the problems associated with intimacy and the disabled.
His company BacktoRomance.com features a variety of marital aids for people with limited mobility, cerebral palsy, paralysis, and joint related injuries. His line of lingerie is seamed with Velcro so that handicapped hands can fasten and unfasten them with ease. His lines of adult devices feature remote controls, longer handles, and hypo-allergenic materials.
“There seems to be a sexual prejudice against the handicapped. It seemed like there was a huge void of offerings for disabled people. People have a general discomfort when it comes to sex aids for the handicapped.” Nelson says.
The Multiple Sclerosis Society offers an explanation:
“One of the myths surrounding sexual behavior is that there is a sexual 'norm'. This myth is often reinforced by the media, and sometimes our peer groups, who promote certain unrealistic ideas about how sex 'should be' and what is or is not physically attractive. This can cause some people to develop a negative body image, as they feel unable to live up to the idealized images presented by the media. “
A negative body image can lead to depression and isolation for disabled people. Nelson hides his arthritic hands as a habit and jokes about having ‘troll feet’. He seeks to bring sexuality back to disabled and physically challenged people and to bring the idea of a sexual norm into their realm.
The website was the most difficult part of setting up the business for Nelson whose fingers are knarled by arthritis, but he feels it was worth the effort. “I just want to help other handicapped people feel comfortable with their sexuality in a society that tries to keep that in the dark.”
Comments
This is a very disturbing but real story of the abuse of our most vulnerable citizens. Curtis Walker, manager of a group home on the lower east side of Manhattan has stolen tens of thousands of dollars worth of supplies, foodstuffs, household equipment and petty cash reserves. Curtis Walker has also sexually assaulted consumers and even staff members, This atrocious behavior is still tolerated at group homes and should cease now. This well known liar and thief has seriously damaged the credibility of the organization who hired him and for some reason, chose to over look his drug past. It is incredible that a man delegated with so much authority would steal and essentially abuse our most vulnerable citizens. This is not uncommon with DD facilities. With their low wages and benefits the hiring pool has intrinsically lowered the bar. This same individual was terminated from his previous job for allegations of sexual assault on an elderly female consumers. No one has had the courageto cont
Dan, I agree that the Curtis Walker is a monster and atrocities do exist in those facilities and against a vulnerable population but this company was built for married couples and people who are disabled and dating. I've looked over the entire site and there are no harmful products on the backtoromance.com site. It is strictly for disabled, geriatric, and movement limited people in love. My own ethical code would not have allowed me to write about it otherwise.
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