How to be a Hobo: Top 10 Hobo foods

What do you think of when you hear "hobo"? Maybe your only point of reference is Mary Kate Olsen's daily attire or a sad clown with a daisy in his hat and too-long suspenders. Point being, over time, the hobo name has been unceremoniously tarnished with misuse.

Hobo culture was birthed after the Civil War as soldiers returning home found the new industrial society too much to bear. These were men and women who rode the rails and reveled in a sense of freedom, with no ties or responsibilities to anyone, who were willing to work hard, so long as there was no danger of commitment or settling - carefree, joyful, and wander lusting to the max. (Did you know Jack London was a hobo?) By the 1930s, things started to change. Hobo culture began to meld with tramps and bums in popular knowledge (the former being a non-working dreamer, the latter being a non-working drinker). By the 60s and 70s the carefree backbone of the hobo lifestyle disintegrated as living on the streets became increasingly dangerous. From the 80s on, as this short documentary relates, hobos were known as transients and just plain homeless - all the glory of the lifestyle all but disappeared.

Well, I'm here to suggest we bring it back! Back to the table, anyway, don't go hopping on trains or you'll get arrested and hurt yourself. Hobos - apart from having a philosophy of communion that meant everybody played their part and did their share - had a necessary talent for extreme resourcefulness that we all could take a bite from in these dire straits. Plus hobo lingo is awesome and the foods sound way funner than eggplant parm and Crab Rangoon.¹ Here are the top 10 hobo foods you can easily make at home. Get out the harmonica, Nelly, we're off to skoff (eat!) in Spokane.

10. MULLIGAN STEW
Probably the most well known of hobo foods, Mulligan Stew is simply a pot of whatever you and your buddies could dig up, whether from handouts, as a trade for labor, or what you found in a bush. You can just scavenge in the bushes of your fridge or pantry. I cook like this for at least one meal a day, only at our house we call it Shmootz.

9. BOSSY IN A BOWL
For the minimalist in your inner hobo, this is just good old-fashioned beef stew. Serve with Hundred on a Plate (beans) and wash it down with a gulp (or 6) of Dago Red (cheap wine, try Trader Joe's for tasty ones! I recommend the Casillero del Diablo Carmenere, a rich Chilean wine for about $9)

8. ADAM AND EVE ON A RAFT
Eggs on toast! Try them "with their eyes open" for sunny side up. For accompaniment, how about a nice big mug of:

7. PALE VIENNA
Sounds fancy, don't it? It is. It's coffee made with cream instead of water - for the decadent hobo.

6. BEAGLES
These are hot dogs. Now, both of these terms sound equally hobo-speak to me, so I say that's good, right? We are one step closer to reaching our goal of hobo-dom.

5. SNAILS
I don't know how hobos got cinnamon rolls, but if I were a hobo I'd make it my priority to find these, too.

4. BLOCK SCRAPINGS
Meat scraps begged from your butcher. You might not get meat scraps, but maybe your family butcher or the kindly gentlemen at Paulina Meat Market will save you some veal bones for your stock? Ask nicely and don't tell them I sent you.

3. PENNSYLVANIA SALVE
Apple butter is surprisingly easy to make. Just take apples, cider, sugar, lemon juice, and spices (cinnamon, cloves and allspice) and boil it, baby! You can grind it in a food mill or puree in your blender for a smoother texture. Here is a full recipe for the precise hobo in you.

2. OIL OF JOY
I think I probably will spontaneously refer to my whiskey as "oil of joy" at least once per mixed-company event from now on, which will probably get me invited to many fewer mixed-company events. Get to Binny's Beverage Depot while the annual whiskey sale is still happening! Although after too much Joy you will definitely need:

1. GRAVEYARD STEW
Hot milk and toast! Generally reserved for those select hobos with few or no teeth, but hey, walk a mile in another's shoes, etc. Slather that toast with some Axle Grease (butter) or a generous blob of Pennsylvania Salve and send yourself into a restful, freedom-loving slumber.

Last September, the Historic Pullman District on our very own South Side hosted the Pullman Hobo Fest. If we're lucky, maybe 2009 will see us packing up our meats in a handkerchief and calling dibs on a hot bowl of Mulligan Stew.

1. Maybe not Crab Rangoon.