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Mark Burlet
Baltimore Drink Examiner
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The Horror of Falsies
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Mark Burlet - Baltimore Drink Examiner
Hi. My name is Mark. And I am a Drunken Intellectual.However, this is not a confession, nor a revelation of some horrible condition I feel I should hide from polite society. No... there is no shame in this admission. I say this because there are many people out there who might disparage my lifestyle. But they should realize... There is much worse out there. That's right. I'm talking about liars. Deceivers. Cheaters, even. I'm not even talking about the New England Patriots, but rather those most despised of villains... those who would overcharge for beer. The scurrilous few who would attempt to dupe the drinking public for a profit. This is a tale of such people.  Not the falsies you were expecting? The tale begins with a pair of intrepid beer drinkers in the San Francisco area. Upon being delivered two frosty "pints" of suds at a national chain eatery, they noticed that the glass bottom was thicker on one... and, upon comparison, they discovered that one held less liquid than the other. Apparently, the bar had replaced their normal 16 ounce pint glasses with 14 ounce glasses the same height and width, simply by purchasing glasses with a thicker base. These newfangled glasses, referred to as "falsies" by some, are a recent trend started by bar owners to save a little money on beer. Now, I know we're all having to switch things up a bit to make ends meet, so if you want to raise prices on beer, I understand. Just don't tell me 14 ounces is a pint... and don't attempt some tomfoolery by serving it to me in a doctored glass. I have started to hear more news about this lately... as this story from the Baltimore Sun demonstrates... but it does not deter me from shouting it further on my own. So keep your eyes open, fellow beer lovers, and let us all know if and when you come across this scourge of serving in our fair city. I, for one, will not stand for it... Keep the faith, my friends! Mark Burlet |
