I don't know if you've heard, but there's a little horse race tomorrow somewhere around Baltimore. Yeah, I didn't know either, but apparently it's supposed to be a big deal to all those horse-racy folks. I'm thinking of heading down there sometime bright and early in the morning, if I manage to remember. We'll see if anyone else makes it... but I'm sure once I mention it, the word will get out. Let me know if you want any details, because they're hard to come by. I have a friend who knows a guy though, so I've got directions and everything. Should be a nice and relaxing day...

If this is you, it's not too late... we can get you help. There are support groups, really. But just being aware of the Preakness Stakes doesn't mean you're itching to wallow for 12 hours, covered in mud and other unmentionable materials, just to watch your friends puke in buckets or get their faces busted by drunken non-intellectuals. And maybe you're not exactly thrilled about spending a couple hundred bucks to sit idly in the stands and be constantly assaulted by giant multi-colored hat brims, whilst waiting patiently for the next 2 minutes of equine excitement. However, there is hope. Strangely enough, there are things to do in this city that don't revolve around the center of the universe... I mean, Preakness.

Let's take a look at a few, shall we?

1. Washington Nationals at Baltimore Orioles (7:05 PM, Camden Yards)
It is quite the benefit of interleague play in the major leagues that allows nearby potential rivals to display their utter disdain for each other in person, rather than relying on each other's fans to do all the smacktalking.  And with the possibility of a rainless day tomorrow, not a bad way to spend a Saturday evening!

I hear they might even win...

2. American Craft Beer Fest (11:00 AM til..., Max's on Broadway)
Now this is more like it. While Preakness allows you to bring your own beverages, this usually means can after can of lackluster American beer. I can deal with American, let's just make it tasty and in a glass! Good brews for all.

3. Sitting At Home Wondering Why You Didn't Go To Preakness (All Day, The Couch)
When you realize everyone else you know is there and there's nobody to hang with, you'll realize you should have just gone. Just because you went once and swore that was enough, doesn't mean it wouldn't have been different this time. How sad is that?

Anyway, what I'm saying here is... just go to the Preakness and forget about it. Or go to that Preakness party at your friends place.  Why spend all this time fighting the powers that be. I give up...

Have a happy Preakness Day!

The Drunken Intellectual