Things To Do In Baltimore When You're (un)Dead

3 comments

October 30, 1:37 AM

by Mark Burlet, Baltimore Drink Examiner

 

 

Oh, and if you're not into sports, don't worry, fall has something for everyone. We've got Oktoberfest for the beer lover. New exhibits at all your favorite museums (The Walters, the Baltimore Museum of Art, and the American Visionary Arts Museum to name a few). The gastronomical promise of Thanksgiving in November. That wonderfully mis-leading celebration of discovery known as Columbus Day. And yes, the changing of the leaves for all you tree huggers.

But this Friday, we will see the best of the best. The reason they invented autumn in the first place. (And no, I'm not talking about the end of Marktober, although I personally believe this is no coincidence.) I am, of course, referring to the darkest of all holidays (other than Groundhog's Day)... Halloween.

A few witches enjoying some brew (and margaritas) 

Sadly, there will be no festivities for me in Baltimore this year. Other circumstances have me traveling back home to New Orleans until Saturday. But I didn't want to leave you empty-handed. I know how you bitch and moan about having nothing to do until I swoop in on my magical flying unicorn to tell you where it's all happening... So here I swoop to arm with all the information you need to find the Halloween celebration that's right for you. Check these out and have yourself a damned fine All Hallow's Eve.

Oh, and let me know how it goes. I'll just have to make do in the city of voodoo, vampires and, ummm... vivaciousness? Shame...

FELLS POINT (Do I have to draw you a map?, 4pm - 2am)
You all knew this one already. This is where you go if you're in your 20's and you want to show off your, ahem... assets. The ultimate in people watching, the entire neighborhood becomes overrun with the most elaborate (and often most revealing) costumes in the city. There's a costume contest, and 98 Rock will even be broadcasting live from Broadway Square... if you're into that. Don't try and drive there, though... parking will be hell (pun intended), and you'll probably just end up drunk anyway. Take a cab.

THE BRUISERS BALL at OTTOBAR (2549 N Howard St, 9pm - 2am)
Why not? Every once in a while, an old headbanger like myself needs a shot of new school heaviness to remind me how much better things used to be. Plus it's one of the few places my stories of the Metallica/Queensryche show in '89 or the Corrosion of Conformity/Prong show in '92 will impress these days... assuming the kids have heard of these bands that their more recent idols are all trying to sound like...
Still, I always have a good time here. And the Charm City Roller Girls are hosting, so you know it'll be jammin'!
(Sorry, ladies...)

HALLOWEEN CRITICAL MASS (Washington Monument, 6pm)
Now this is one I would love to see in person. Imagine a swarm of costumed bicyclists pedaling through the city en masse as annoyed motorists wonder what the hell is going on. The perfect Halloween display of chaos and unity, but that's just my humble opinion. If you have a bike and a costume, join in for me, won't ya?

SHAKESCARE! (3900 Roland Park Ave, 9pm - 1am)
Presented by the Baltimore Shakespeare Festival, this one offers a variety of entertainments, including live music by The Swinging Swamis (a personal favorite) and a performance of Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart. How much more "Baltimore Halloween" can you get? Plus, admission is only 15 bucks, so if you're looking for something a little more low-key and cultural, this is the choice for you.

So that's about as varied a list of events I can offer you for this Friday. I'm sure there's plenty more going on out there, but this should give everyone at least one more thing to think about. And that's all I ever really cared to do.

Seriously, what am I, you're freakin' personal assistant? My job is done here. Now go trick or treat or something, you creepy old freak... Or was that just your costume all these years? My bad!

Happy Halloween, kids!

Mark Burlet
Drunken Intellectual

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