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Listening to the children go back and forth about the qualities of a bully brought me to the following conclusions:
1. Often, bullies get permission from the bullied to continue teasing. Teaching our children good exit strategies when "play is no longer play" is necessary for them to know when enough is enough.
2. The bullied must speak up. Listening to my children speak of different scenarios made me realize that you must use your voice to tell your parents, adults, or anyone that can help you make the situation better. Failure to speak up usually results in more taunting.
3. Children need reinforcement when they walk away from a bully. When a child decides not to play with a bully any longer, he or she is confronted with the unknown. Parents and caregivers need to provide consistent reinforcement when children make these tough steps to separate. This is hard work.
4. Sometimes the bullies' parents are oblivious. Giving yourself permission to help your child escape this tough scenario is enough. Life is not a popularity club.
What about you? What stories can you share that have helped your child learn that it is okay to say "No" to unfair play?
Mia