Magic Hands

Before we begin, do me a solid and go to my favorite Baltimore classic rock radio station,
100.7 The Bay, and use their online request tool. Type in "Magic Man" by Heart. As soon as the
song starts, please continue.

Is it on? Good, I think it will help set the mood.

I am fortunate to have been the recipient of many professional massages in my life, particularly in my
 tenure as an aesthetician. It's one of the extra-sweet perks of working in the spa industry, to be sure.
Massage is kind of like pizza-even if it's not exceptional, it's still good, 'cause pizza is just yummy by its
very nature, and it feels good to be touched, whether it is a back rub from your sweetie or a
deep-tissue extravaganza from a pro.

However, an hour-long session with a massage therapist is considerably more expensive than a
pepperoni pizza. In  the current state of the economy, you feel a lot more disappointed  if you pay
a hundred bucks and get a mediocre massage than if your $2.50 slice is too greasy. It is for this
reason that I feel a responsibility to you, dear reader, to inform you that The Greatest Massage Of
All Time is right here in the City of Charm, and I can prove it; the other day, your Beauty Examiner
was the grateful recipient of The Greatest Massage Of All Time, heretofore  known as The GMOAT.

This is the room where I experienced The GMOAT. Sigh...

The GMOAT was performed upon me by a magic human called Ryan, and it took place at SaSa's Spa
at 1111 Park Avenue, nestled between Mount Vernon and Bolton Hill.

From the moment his hands touched my skin, I felt almost as if I was humming with a sort of warm,
 gentle kinetic vibration. Within the first ten minutes, after following his gentle instruction to breathe
 into the pressure, my ravaged muscles began to succumb to the GMOAT. After twenty minutes, a small
puddle of drool formed on the floor beneath my slackened lips. I lost all concept of time and space, but
 I think it was around the thirty-minute mark that I proposed marriage at least once. I am fairly certain
that I tried to convince Ryan to run away to a tropical island with me. "We'd have a good life",
 I reasoned. "You could massage me all day and we'd live off of coconut cream pies, like on
Gilligan's Island." Ryan politely demurred, as he is extremely professional, but I think it's a flawless
plan.

During The GMOAT, Ryan had performed a few different techniques; the Therapeutic Massage
 involves a variety, depending upon Ryan's assessment of the client's needs. I experienced a
transcendent combo platter of Craniosacral, Hot Stone and Deep Tissue therapies. I'm pretty s
ure the Craniosacral. which is where Ryan makes incremental adjustments in the connective
tissue in the skull, affected me the most, because I felt weirdly floaty for several hours afterward,
lighter and more clear, somehow.

After The GMOAT, Ryan brought me cool water and suggested I wait a little bit before trying to
get up, which turned out to be a good idea because I could not steady myself to stand for a few minutes.

The true mark of a great massage is how you feel the next day. I received The GMOAT on
a Monday, and on Tuesday I noticed that not only was there no pain (unlike most other
massages I've had) but my hips felt more even, and my legs were crackling with vitality.
I have Degenerative Disc Disease, so this sensation was both a relief and a pleasure.

So many components make up The GMOAT, but the primary one is the exceptional skill of the
 therapist. Other things are important too, of course; the atmosphere of the location in which
you are being treated is calm, soothing and safe. The table you're laying on is of high quality,
sturdy and firm yet more comfy than any piece of furniture in your house. The temperature in
the room is controlled, so that you don't get a chill, but you never feel too warm. All factors
were firmly in place, but the magic hands really make The GMOAT.

To schedule an appointment with Ryan to get your own GMOAT, please call 410-383-7272(sasa).
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