Convoluted logic drives Red Sox rumor mill

Red Sox Nation, like nature, abhors a vacuum. So when no dramatic player news emerged from this week's major league GM meetings in Chicago, creative thinkers in the fan base began ‘tweeting’ and calling sportsradio shows to get the rumor mill turning. Most of their suggestions are just silly, in the vein of “let’s send Michael Bowden to Toronto for Roy Halladay.” But some are based on their own brand of convoluted logic, such as this one dreamed up over breakfast this morning:

• Phillies’ GM Ruben Amaro Jr. told the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Jim Salisbury that he “talked about a trade for a third baseman” while in the Windy City.
• The Miami Herald’s Barry Jackson reported yesterday that Marlins second baseman “Dan Uggla remains likely to be dealt.”
• Your humble observer the other day wrote again about the complicated catcher/corner infield/DH dance the Red Sox performed for much of last year.
• Conclusion: The Sox send third baseman Mike Lowell to Philadelphia, which pursued him aggressively as a free agent after the 2007 season ended. In return, they get minor league outfield prospect Michael Taylor, among others, who may not be quite ready to replace free agent Jason Bay if/when he signs elsewhere but presumably would be at Fenway in 2011. They then deal prospects to the Marlins, who always need them (see Hermida, Jeremy and Ramirez, Henley) to get Uggla, whom they move to third, replacing Lowell.

Clean and neat, right? Everybody gets what they want. Except the post-surgical Lowell is not the same physical specimen he was two years ago, perhaps dampening the Phils’ enthusiasm, and the Sox already have an alternative third-sacker in the person of Kevin Youkilis.

Unless Uggla can play first … but wait; the Sox are supposed to be getting Adrian Gonzalez from the Padres (and their new GM, former Sox executive Jed Hoyer) for Lars Anderson and a box of balls …