Autism 101: How to teach self-advocacy

Because they don't display obvious signs of their differences (such as physical disabilities), children with Asperger's Syndrome, autism and PDD-NOS  are often labeled by teachers as being lazy or non-compliant.  These children may also be bullied, teased and hazed by their classmates.  Sometimes,  children with autism may even allow the hazing due to an intense desire to make friends and fit in. Although character education, diversity education and zero-tolerance bullying polices are being instituted in schools, parents can help greatly by  teaching their children how to self-advocate effectively. Elise Butowsky, a parent advocate who resides in New York with her husband and two sons, both with Asperger's Syndrome, weighs in on how to teach self-advocacy skills to children on the autism spectrum. 

1. Teach your children about autism, Asperger's Syndrome, or any other ASD diagnosis.  Elise explains,"You cannot advocate for something you know nothing about. Children at an early age know that they are different from others.  When we finally told our child in fourth grade that he had Asperger's, he was so relieved. He thought he was at fault for not doing what he was supposed to do."  She  recommends that parents tailor the discussion to the child's age, but notes that since children tend to blame themselves for their own differences, telling them as early as possible is important.

2. Let your children know that having a learning difference does not let them off the hook for putting in their best effort.   Warns Elise, "It is the parents' fault if the child learns to use autism as an excuse for not doing his best. If parents teach him that, yes, you learn differently, but you still have to try your best, then there is no excuse. But if you make excuses for a child based upon autism, then they will learn that mode of behavior."   

3. Encourage the child to ask for help, and brainstorm ways to help him with tasks he finds difficult. Make sure the child knows that it is perfectly okay to ask a teacher, a parent, a classmate or a school administrator for help.  In any school situation,  teachers are obligated to encourage children to ask questions and to help them access the support they need. Adds Elise,"The ability to ask the teacher for help is key. In fact, the school or school district may actually have protocols that the teacher has to follow about giving out their emails and adding time for extra help." She cites an example from her local  middle school, where there teachers wait after school for students and provide extra instruction. "I used to insist that the boys go, and go they did. It was very beneficial. By the time the boys got into high school, they were comfortable asking for help independently."

4. Encourage the child to know his rights, and what to do when those rights are violated.  Bullying and hazing are not acceptable, but they happen with an all too-alarming frequency.  Parents can visit the government-sponsored Stop Bullying Now for tips and strategies to prevent bullying, including how changing the social environment at school. The site also has tools to teach kids how how to advocate for themselves.

:Elise Butowsky is a parent advocate who resides in New York with her husband and two sons, both with Asperger's Syndrome.  One of her boys is a sophomore in college; the other is a junior in high school and is starting the college application process. Reach Elise at her blogsite, Raising Asperger's Kids

Related stories:

Bullied out of class: Parents pull autistic son from school due to taunts, hazing

Beyond Bullying.