Zombie Outbreak Survival: The Definitive Zombie Apocalypse Survival Test
The Answers!
In previous articles, you will find Parts 1 and 2 of my definitive test. Use these articles (and the next few) to check your zombie outbreak survival learning curve. In this article, I will continue discussing the correct answers, leaving you with plenty of food for thought. I’ll cover the answers to questions 41 - 45.
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41. Which of the following books will help you prepare for the zombie apocalypse?
a) World War Z by Max Brooks.
b) The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell.
c) The Bible.
d) All the above.
e) None of these because zombies are not real.
Discussion: Reading all of the books in this list should be of some help to you in a zombie apocalypse. Don’t forget that The Bible actually describes zombie outbreaks. I mentioned before that about 2000 years ago a certain Christian deity is described in the Bible as having been killed and then three days later, coming back to life. Jesus is one of the most famous walking dead ever written about in modern or ancient history. See also Zechariah 14:12: “And the LORD will send a plague on all the nations that fought against Jerusalem. Their people will become like walking corpses, their flesh rotting away. Their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths.”
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42. Which of the following books will help you prepare for the zombie apocalypse?
a) The Zombie Survival Guide by max Brooks.
b) Fit for Combat: When Fitness is a matter of Life and Death by JD Johannes and Nita Marquez.
c) The Book on Zombie Outbreak Survival by Darrell Allen.
d) All the above.
e) None of these because zombies are not real.
Discussion: Read as much as you can. You’ll thank me later when you finish that Navy Seal Survival Guide and that Green Beret Combat Manual when you know all the different ways to treat frostbite, when you know all the different parts of a beaver that can be used to make tools, when you know all the parts of a deer that you have to avoid eating, when you know of an impressive number weapons that can be made out of car parts, when you know how to make a booby-trap using household items, and when you show great poise and confidence during a zombie apocalypse.
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Go here for all your zombie outbreak survivalist reading needs: www.deltapress.com
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43. According to Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #1, which of the following is a bad move?
a) You are all alone and you find a seriously injured dog trapped in a bad guy’s booby-trap, so you take the time to rescue this dog and care for it.
b) You are all alone and you find a survivor with her own, shelter, ammo, weapons, supplies, and a great plan for survival, so you team up.
c) You are all alone and you find a survivor and you give her some of your supplies, weapons, and ammo.
d) You are all alone and you like it that way.
e) None of these because zombies are not real.
Discussion: Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #1 basically says, “No one’s survival is more important than my own.” It also tells you to avoid acting like a hero, because you are not trained to be a hero. I am. Still, I’m not going to rescue an animal unless that animal increases my chances of survival. Animal rescue is never a good move during a zombie outbreak. I’ve known a few bad-ass Marines who would dive on a grenade to save a kitten. This sort of heroism has to be trained out of some people. It’s a question of value. Does the danger and risk you will face warrant saving this thing or person? B is the best move of the ones listed here. D has its merits, but only the greatest survivalists have much of a real chance to survive zombie pandemonium as a solo act. Drill Instructor Sergeant Pratt who trained me back in 1985, a Force Recon Marine, strikes me as the kind of guy who could do it solo. An old friend of mine named Master Sergeant Matos, a retired senior instructor from the Navy Seal School in Coronado could definitely survive solo. Another friend of mine, Corporal Pacheco, a former Marine Scout Sniper on our ZORT squad could also do it, but he had a touch of compulsive anti-social psychological trouble before he left the Marines, just the sort of oddness that would definitely increase his chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse alone. I know Pacheco got recruited to train rebels somewhere in the Central American jungles, and I’m not allowed to talk about him, publically. Sergeant Major Jeff Morin, now this guy…of all the bad-asses I have ever served with, he is the bad-ass of bad-asses, the Michael Jordan of bad-asses. Your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse are improved just because you happen to be in the same county as he’s in. I think he’s probably living somewhere in Virginia if he hasn’t retired to the remote luxury log house he was designing the last time I worked with him. We served on a zombie outbreak response team together back in 1999.
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Picture of SgtMaj Morin from a recent interview he did: http://www.jleemedia.com/portfolio/portraits/sgt-major-jeffrey-morin/#main
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Does he look like a total bad-ass or what?
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44. According to Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #2, which of the following is a good move?
a) A man waiving a white flag approaches your safe shelter and asks you to come out to talk. He claims he is unarmed. You notice he is wearing the remnants of a prison uniform. He says he needs your help. You ignore him and then shoot him through the eye with your M14/M1A when he gets too close. You then wait for darkness and evacuate to your back up shelter.
b) A small group of men are horribly mistreating some survivors. You get the drop on them before they can get to their weapons. They ask you to cut them some slack; the world went to shit; the old rules don’t apply; you can join their gang if you let them live. You shoot them all, and interrogate the survivors to see what else they know. Then you release the survivors. You confiscate most of the bad guys’ weapons ammo, and supplies.
c) After many months of surviving the zombie apocalypse, you corner a zombie that can speak. It begs you to spare it. You decide to ask it some questions to see what it knows.
d) All of the above are good moves except C.
e) None of these because zombies are not real.
Discussion: Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #2 says, “Shoot first and ask questions later.” It also says, “When in doubt, shoot it out.” Rule #2 can be thought of as the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Golden Rule: Shoot unto others before they shoot unto you ~OR~ He who shoots first usually gets to keep making the rules. In a zombie pandemonium, you just have to have a better sense of the evil that men do. And since when do you try to have a conversation with a strangely acting zombie? As far as you are concerned, during a zombie pandemonium the only good zombie is a dead zombie. Leave the let’s study zombies so we can better understand their motivations nonsense to the experts. You’ll find people who think that everyone deserves a second chance in a zombie apocalypse. You will need to ignore your What Would Jesus Do instincts, at least temporarily. Nice guys definitely finish last (die first) in a zombie apocalypse, unless they get with the program and save niceties for long after the zombie apocalypse is over.
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45. According to Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #3, which of the following is a bad move?
a) You are all alone and in a very safe place. A large group of survivors appears to have formed a well-run operation. They are looking to reestablish order. They reach out to you and other survivors and invite you to join them in their compound and help them rebuild society, but you will have to play by their rules once you join. You accept their offer.
b) You are all alone and low on food and ammo. You come across a survivor compound and you observe them for a while. You see some abusive and vile things going on in the compound. The leader appears to be psychotic. You intend to approach them and ask for shelter because you are impressed with how much good things they have inside their compound.
c) You recruit other survivors to join your survival network and you soon have a number of safe places to go for shelter.
d) You come across a small group of survivors. They do not have good leadership. They are barely surviving. They are good-hearted and tough, but they have low skills. You decide to teach them some of your survival skills. You stay with them until they develop into a much better fighting and survival group.
e) None of these because zombies are not real.
Discussion: Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rule #3 says, “Build a survival coalition, league, union, partnership, or alliance.” The bad move is joining a coalition of psychotics; a coalition of evil. Evil sometimes looks good. You have to see past appearances if you want to survive the zombie apocalypse. A lot of people will face the ultimate test of their personal integrity and morality during a zombie apocalypse. Would you rather die honorably or live with psychotics and evil people? When your principles and moralities fail to provide you with shelter, water, food, and security, will you abandon your personal code and do what you have to just to live another day? Will you tolerate evil people to survive another day? Maybe the best strategy is to accept that an evil coalition is better than no coalition. Maybe the best strategy is to join the evil coalition with a plan to change it from the inside. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen or heard of good people changing evil groups from the inside. I’ll use the great basketball coach, John Calipari’s analogy. All it takes is one speck of poop to ruin an entire bucket of ice cream. Likewise, there is no amount of ice cream you can add to a bucket of poop to make it anything more than a bucket of poop. This means if you have a good coalition (ice cream), never let a speck of poop (bad people or weak people or evil people) in the door. If you are a good person (ice cream), you have to appreciate that there is no number of good people you can add to an evil coalition (a bucket of poop) that will turn that coalition into ice cream. You should throw out the contaminated ice cream and start over even though plenty of people will fight with you to the end, trying to convince you that tainted ice cream with only a speck of poop in it is still pretty good ice cream. I hope this helps.
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Again, your goal is to get 100% correct. So how did you do on these questions? If you suck, don’t worry, I will keep posting remedial zombie survival articles for those of you who need to try again. Go back and read my earliest zombie apocalypse survival articles in the meantime.
I’ll pick-up the discussion of the last five test questions in my next article.
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Prevention is the best cure…
Did you get a flu shot yet?
Latest 2013 Flu Outbreak News:
Widespread Flu Outbreak 2013: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/widespread-flu-outbreak-rises-41-states-18138130
The CDC: http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/season/flu-season-2012-2013.htm
Flu.gov: http://www.flu.gov/#
ABC News: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/swine-flu-h1n1-pandemic-deaths-15-times-higher/story?id=16646281
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