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Zombie apocalypse: Actual Pentagon 'training' plans to battle the undead exist

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If you have ever been worried about a zombie apocalypse, where the undead ravage the land and kill and convert the living to non-dead entities, worry no more. The U. S. military, via the top brass over at the Pentagon, have battle plans ready and waiting for just such an unlikely eventuality. But better safe than sorry, as the saying goes. And with regard to zombie hordes, the Pentagon has produced a series of doomsday scenarios for training purposes that could very well keep America safe should shambling brain-eaters rise up and become a serious threat.

Newsmax reported May 19 that the Pentagon document includes scenarios that entertain the idea of several different types of zombies that might arise during a hording apocalypse. The doomsday plan itself, submitted on April 11, 2011, exists as an unclassified document within the Defense Department's computer network. Its designation: "CONOP 8888."

Within the summary, the document reads that the report "fulfills fictional contingency planning . . . to undertake military operations to preserve 'non-zombie' humans from the threats posed by a zombie horde."

And if combatting the undead wasn't a strange enough idea in itself, the plan also calls for coming to the aid of those who normally would be considered hostile to the U. S. "Because zombies pose a threat to all non-zombie human life, [U.S. Strategic Command] will be prepared to preserve the sanctity of human life and conduct operations in support of any human population — including traditional adversaries."

Simply put: The living trump the non -- or: Better (allied with) Red than undead.

Still, it should be stressed that the actuality of a zombie acocalypse event is not overly serious (although there are those who believe that technologies and pathogens could somehow produce real zombies), the Pentagon's idea wasn't to create battle plans to stop zombies but to create detailed conditional plans for training purposes for familiarization with military planning and order development within given scenarios.

To clarify, Navy Capt. Pamela Kunze, a spokeswoman for U.S. Strategic Command, told CNN, "The document is identified as a training tool used in an in-house training exercise where students learn about the basic concepts of military plans and order development through a fictional training scenario. This document is not a U.S. Strategic Command plan."

And if you're still thinking that some members of the media have flat-lined or might have been taken in by a well-played hoax, the nation's armed forces newspaper, Stars and Stripes, relayed the original report from Foreign Policy magazine as well.

The military has contingency plans for just about any type of attack and defense scenario. However, they wanted something for training purposes that would not be taken seriously by the general population if a given exercise became public knowledge.

To wit, the document says: "Training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan. Rather than risk such an outcome by teaching our augmentees using the fictional 'Tunisia' or 'Nigeria' scenarios used at (Joint Combined Warfighting School), we elected to use a completely impossible scenario that could never be mistaken as a real plan."

So, just what is a soldier -- or anyone -- to do should they face down a zombie bent on doing whatever it is that zombies are bent on doing? "The only assumed way to effectively cause causalities to the zombie ranks by tactical force is the concentration of all firepower to the head, specifically the brain," the plan suggests. "The only way to ensure a zombie is 'dead' is to burn the zombie corpse."

The plan takes into consideration several different types of zombies, from vegetarian (yes, some are nontraditionally meat averse) to regular to chicken (an avian flu pandemic isn't scare enough?) to the fanciful "evil magic zombies" (which are created through occult experimentation). There are eight in all.

And there is, as in every good doomsday or apocalyptic scenario, a nuclear option when dealing with hordes of zombies.

"Maintain emergency plans to employ nuclear weapons within (the continental United States) to eradicate zombie hordes."

The Pentagon isn't the only government agency to formulate plans for dealing with a potential zombie apocalypse. With the advent of zombies as a pop culture phenomenon, it has followed in the footsteps of the Department of Homeland Security and the Centers for Disease Control.

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