How many times have you read a relationship advice article and compared it to your relationship? Well, just stop that! If it's not broken, stop trying to fix it. More importantly, stop over-analyzing it. Why put a label on every little thing that goes wrong between the two of you? There's something to be said for just taking it easy and living life one day at a time. You be you. Let your significant other be themselves. Meet in the middle somewhere for a good time. Trust each other. Support each other. Leave it at that.
You can ruin your relationship by over-thinking it. For instance:
“Oh man, he's working late for the third time this week, I bet he's cheating.”
(Dude, maybe he's just working late. Maybe he's tired. Give the man a back rub. Let him sleep.)
“But what if he is cheating?”
(Well, if he is cheating, you won't change the situation by driving yourself nuts over it.)
“But he's making me miserable.”
(No, you're making yourself miserable. You don't even know if he's actually cheating on you.)
“But what if he is and I don't call him on it? I'll look like a fool!”
(You look like a fool now.)
If you have doubts, don't get yourself all worked up about it.
Just ask him. Don't talk to your friends, talk to your partner. He's the one you're in the relationship with. Talk to him like a friend. He's your best friend, right? So, you can say, “I know this sounds crazy but I'm worried about ____. Should I be worried?” If he says no, trust him. Later on, if you find out you should have been worried, just deal with it. Otherwise, put a smile on your face and be happy you have a relationship. You're only hurting yourself by getting all upset over nothing. Yes, even if you find out your fears were justified. Life is too short to spend it worrying over every little detail.
What if there really is a problem?
Do you know anyone who has a perfect relationship? I sure don't. Are you perfect? I'm definitely not. Don't expect your partner to be perfect. Don't be so quick to kick him to the curb. He puts up with your issues, right? Don't scrap your whole relationship just because he has issues too. We all do. The point of a relationship is to work together, not to judge each other.
But what if he actually is cheating?
Oh boy, here we go again. If you catch him cheating or you can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that he's cheating, then talk to him about it. Maybe you can work it out. Maybe you can't. But until you actually know something's up, stop beating yourself up about it. Sure, it hurts. Sure, it's unfair. It may even be unjustified. Then again, it could be all in your head. If it is, and you keep tormenting him about it, chances are you won't have a relationship to worry about anyway. Don't try to fix it if it's not broken. You'll do more harm than good.
This article was previously published by Jaipi Sixbear on Yahoo! Voices