Sure, we would like to believe that our marriage was built solely on the foundation of love. The crazy thing about courtship is the multitude of feelings one goes through. If you’re not careful the feelings of love you may be having just might not be accurate. There is always a flood of emotions and feelings that are so intense that couples move quickly into marriage only to find out it was inaccurate. When people meet they do tend to put their best masks on to increase the likelihood that their person of interest will like them.
Sometimes this courtship could last as long as a year or more. In this time many couples begin their marital plans, setting their marriage up to become a possible let down. Couples then find themselves married for a year or two and lustful, infatuation feeling one might have felt may begin to dissipate. You see, the honeymoon seems to launch your marriage into a blissful heated continuation of the courtship still acting as a smoke screen for the rubble on the other side.
Does this mean you should have gotten to know each other better before marriage, Yes! Does this mean that your marriage is doomed when the smoke clears and the feelings of infatuation have gone? Maybe not. But this does mean that you will have to try harder than some other couples. This can usually be the case when couples decide to marry to soon. How would you begin to know what you are feeling? Are you one of those people who tend think, “this is what I’m feeling so it must be true.” I suggest you weigh out how many times that has worked for you.
Whether you're in a relationship already or whether you're admiring someone from afar, sorting out your feelings can be a real challenge. While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction clearer for yourself. What does love look like? You care for this person even knowing his or her faults. You are committed to sticking together even through the most difficult circumstances.
You can tell this person anything about yourself, even if the truth doesn't flatter you, and you know that your partner will accept you. You should feel secure. You know that your partner will stand by you no matter what, and you are prepared to commit to your partner for the rest of your life. Maybe, in the perfect world, you have known the person for a long time, and you can't imagine life without him or her. Observe how sex affects your feelings. After you have sex with your partner, you feel closer to him or her.
For you, affection and post-coital cuddling are just as important as sex, although you love to keep the flame alive. But also keep in mind that pre-marital sex can cloud all feelings at which point everything your feeling can be compromised. Analyze the way that you're thinking about the other person. Something funny has happened to you at work, and you can't wait to tell your partner. Alternatively, you've had a bad experience, and you want to talk to someone who will understand.
If your partner is the first person that you think about when you want to share your innermost thoughts, then you may be in love. Are you more infatuated? Examine whether you treat the man or woman of your interest as a person or a thing. When you experience infatuation, your mind is consumed by thoughts of the other person. You're thinking not only about the other person but also about how you want to reveal yourself to the other person.
You have an idealized vision of what this person is like, and your vision may or may not be accurate. Evaluate how secure you feel. Instead of feeling secure, you are thinking more about how to impress the other person. Your focus is on how to get the other person to like you, and you feel nervous because you don't know how the other person feels. Are you lusting? Examine whether you treat the man or woman of your interest as a person or a thing.
If you're looking to catch someone as a prize or to get someone to go to bed with you, you're treating the person like a thing, and you're probably experiencing lust. Security isn't important to you; you're more interested in the score and in how great it feels to be physical together. After you get what you want, you can take or leave the other person. But even this feeling can take on the deception of love. No one is suggesting that great relationships haven’t started this way, but the likelihood is not in your favor. Examine what you’re feeling.
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