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You say it’s your birthday?

Every morning when I roll out of bed around ten, ten-thirty-ish I pour a cup of coffee, light a cigarette and open up the morning edition of the World Guardian. After the Sports, the Funnies and the Obituaries I go right to the little blurb about whose celebrity birthday it is on that particular date. You’d be amazed at how old some of these well-known superstars are getting.

Happy Birthday Kool-Aid Guy, "Oh yeah!"
Happy Birthday Kool-Aid Guy, "Oh yeah!"
internet/Rus Pishnery
Happy Birthday
internet/Rus Pishnery

For example, country music legend Loretta Lynn is 81. Cereal icons Snap, Crackle and Pop are also 81 and underage drinker, alleged singer and partially clad music wannabe Justin Beiber just turned 20. Other notable birthdays are the Vlasic Pickle Stork, 38 years old, Winston Cigarettes and Godzilla turned 59 and noted Renaissance artist Michelangelo turns 539 years old.

Fast-food mascot Jack in the Box also just turned is 19 going on twenty and still is the creepiest mascot in the food industry.

In the beginning Jack in the Box used a huge clown head as its mascot, perched high atop a sign above the restaurant. In the 70’s the clown head was attached to the drive-thru menu and actually talked to you to take your order. The 70’s were a blur to me what with the discovery of marijuana and that was what creeped me out initially as well as fueling my fear of clowns. In the 80’s the chain decided to go with a more mature image and started blowing up clown heads on TV commercials. By 1994 Jack in the Box was reinvented as a science fiction-like white bubble head with a conic red nose wearing a suit. I still can’t eat a Jack in the Box Jumbo Jack Burger.

Anyway, here are some other notable celebrity ages that may startle you and make you realize how old some of us are getting.

The Kool-Aid guy turns 60. Over the years he has been a dynamic pitcher-about-town, surfing, jet-skiing, busting down brick walls and playing guitar while frightening millions of children around the world. This cat even has his own footprint in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater in LaLa Land.


1 Pkt. Kool-Aid

1 Cup Sugar

2 Qts. Water


Empty contents into large plastic or glass pitcher. Add 1 cup sugar (More or less to taste). Add cold water and ice to pitcher and stir to dissolve. Do not store in metal container.

Mr. Peanut was born way back in 1916, becoming the official Planters Peanut mascot in 1937. By the late 50’s he was starring in TV commercials. Since then he has sold millions of Halloween costumes, trained for tree-athalons and solved problems while contemplating. This is a traditional Southern spin on two old favorites.

Roasted Peanuts and Coke

1 12 Oz. Coke in a Bottle

1 1.75 Oz. Bag Planters Salted Peanuts

Pop open the Coke and take a big swig out of it. Tear open the bag of peanuts and carefully drop the peanuts into the Coke. Enjoy! It’s the real thing.

The Trix Rabbit is 57 and it took the silly rabbit almost twenty years before he finally tasted the forbidden cereal composed of raspberry red, lemony lemon and orangey orange.

Trix are for Kids Treats

¼ Cup Butter, Melted

30-35 Large Marshmallows

2 Tbs. Kool-Aid Brand Lemonade Mix

7 Cups Trix

Spray 13x9 Pyrex. Add marshmallows to butter and stir constantly until melted. Stir in drink mix and quickly add cereal until everything is smushed together. Pour into baking pan, cover with wax paper to pat treats down evenly.

The Pillsbury Dough Boy is almost 50. Besides being a pusher for crescent rolls he has beautiful blue eyes, a world-class smile and a famous giggle, even when he is getting poked in the stomach or getting patted down by the TSA at the airport. Nothing says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven!

Crescent Rolls w/ Asparagus

1 Pkg. Pillsbury Crescent Rolls

1 Lb. Asparagus, Trimmed

Sea Salt/Freshly Ground Black Pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Unroll the rolls into their triangles. And set out on greased baking sheet.

Blanch the asparagus until softened but still crisp.

Grab 3-4 spears, place in center of triangle and roll up. Lay side by side on sheet, brush with melted butter and sprinkle with sea salt and pepper. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Sorry Charlie. Unfortunately the Stah-Kist spokestuna, born in 1961 passed away in the mid-80’s from mercury poisoning while trapped in a Japanese fishing trawler net. No recipes are available.

There is a complete highlight reel of these and other celebs on the slideshow and video. Check them out.

Happy Birthday everybody.

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