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You look like my ex. I love you.

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Scientists have long been fascinated by why people are attracted to other people. Every year, new theories emerge about what we look for in a potential mate. Some say that men look for women who remind them of their mothers, and women look for men who remind them of their fathers. The most common thinking, however, is that we each have a ‘type’ that we subconsciously seek out.

“People have a type and it’s not necessarily about height or race or hair color, but a lot of it is about face shape,” said Talia Goldstein, the founder of matchmaking company Three Day Rule.

The idea is that facial structure should be factored into the list of things each client is looking for, along with factors like age, occupation, personality and interests.

“I’ve noticed over my years in matchmaking that people have types,” Goldstein said. “I always ask my clients to send me photos of their exes. They say that they don’t have a type, but when I see the photos, to me they look very similar. The exes may be different ethnicity, or have different hair color, but their facial structures are the same.”

Enter Match.com, the behemoth of online dating. For a mere $5000 for six months, you can send Match a photo of your ex and Match will work with Three Day Rule to use facial-recognition technology to find you dates. (Readers note: Life in the Boomer Lane doesn’t know what “three-day rule” means, but she is pretty sure it has little to do with “three dog night”).
For those of you who like the idea but think $5000 is a steep price, you should know that there are other benefits of membership. One is that experts will accompany you on your dates, and give you feedback. For an extra $1000, they won’t give the feedback in front of your date or leave with your date and stick you with the bill.

Lest any of you are now screeching “I would pay five thousand dollars to NOT date someone who looked like my ex!” LBL says this service is clearly not for you. Neither is the service for men who can’t remember what their ex looked like or no idea what any woman looks like above the torso.

Match.com users can also avail themselves of the use of the “Guardian Angel” a necklace or bracelet that makes your cell phone ring when you are having a boring date. For a fee of $120, the user can notify the person listed as emergency contact. LBL wants all potential users to know that for far less than $120, she will personally call you. You can then hand the phone to your date and LBL will notify him that you left home without applying your ointment but that the doctor doesn’t think you are contagious anymore, and the pustules do seem to be clearing up somewhat.

There is good news in all this for boomers. As we age, and our life experiences afford us a heightened awareness and sensitivity and a better understanding of the meaning of life, we leave the shallow attractions of our youth behind. We develop, instead, a deep appreciation for factors other than good looks and buff bodies. We now select partners based on who is ambulatory, who can feed themselves and who leaves the bathroom in habitable condition. And of course, who has a solid retirement plan.

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