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You Just Might Be a Racist

The Cover of the New Yorker
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Eric Holder has calmly commented on the fact that some of the animus directed toward the current President and Holder himself, the Attorney General, could be partially based on racism.

By the way Eric, can this column call you that, go after Wall Street. Tons of criminals there and you being the top guy at Justice and all. Just saying.

Anyway, this very poised and circumspect statement started a bunch of howling from the usual suspects.

With homage to Jeff Foxworthy: You just might be a racist if:

You want your country back after President Obama won the election by 7% points. (By the way, that is what you say when two guys steal the office via the Supreme Court.)

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If you ask for his birth certificate 5 million times. (Trust this column. If Obama had not been born here, the Clintons would have unearthed that factoid. And Ted Cruz later demonstrated that being born in a foreign land to a foreign father and American mother still makes you a citizen.)

If you demand to see his college transcripts. (Donald if you are a billionaire, so is this column. Next time, pull a Bloomberg. Offer $500 hundred million. And donate it regardless.)

If you call him a socialist when you cannot define the term.

When you call him a socialist and a Nazi in the same sentence.

If you state, upon his inauguration, that you hope he fails.

When you call him the food stamp President.

If you state there should only be money for defense and no funding for roads and welfare. (Oh Dick Cheney, you are also a war criminal and war profiteer.)

When you oppose everything President Obama has done even if it benefits the country or your district.

If you long for the halcyon days of George W.

When you stop screaming Benghazi the minute the administration captured the alleged mastermind.

If you disparage the 47% of citizens you deem are takers. (Okay Mitt you might only be a heartless rich guy.)

Here’s an idea President Obama. Endorse the XL pipeline and state that climate change is a hoax. Propose that children open carry AK 47’s at Gymboree. Step on the hands of the frightened children trying to escape gang violence in Central America before trying to send them back to possible death and injury. Blow up a Planned Parenthood.

See what a bunch of non-racist, it is only about the issues folks actually do then.