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You can't train your husband, but you can train yourself

Isn’t it funny how men and women take on what seem like natural roles in the household when they get married? I generally cook and do laundry and my husband takes out the trash and mows the lawn. Well I’ll tell you, I nearly had a meltdown the other night as my husband sat in front of the TV and asked where his dinner was. Even as a joke, I wasn’t laughing. I started to think about it and I had one of those ah ha moments people talk about. Since we’ve gotten married I’ve been cooking meals, plating them up and even taking them out to him in the living room…whoa, when did it become the 1950’s again and how did I let this happen?

June Cleaver

Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook. And I love the look on my husband's face when I see him really enjoying a meal I’ve prepared…but I also don’t want that role to be expected. He does cook once in a while (and he’s very good at it) so it’s not like he doesn’t help out, but I need to nip this in the bud and do it now!

I don’t “serve” anyone and I’m certainly not going to do it for the rest of my life. And before I get you all in a tizzy of support, let me remind you that I’ve done this to myself. My husband does not in any way, shape or form expect this from me, he’s just gotten used to it because I always do it. It’s not necessarily wrong that I do it or that he’s gotten used to it, I just feel like I might have set the women’s movement back about 60 years so shame on me. I’m no June Cleaver and I shouldn’t pretend to be. I love doing nice things for my spouse, but come on, we can all get up and get our own food.

So how do I break this habit? Well for starters, I’m going to have to invite my hubby out to the kitchen once I’m finished cooking. He can fix his own plate and take it back out to the living room. No big deal, it’s not the end of the world and definitely not an unreasonable request.  I need to stop thinking that that’s what a good wife does…no, being a good wife is being someone who’s supportive, understanding and loving. I love my husband but creating bad habits will only get me in trouble in the future. And if I’m the one that creates the bad habit, I can’t be mad at him for benefiting from it!

Nashville wives and newlyweds, you can’t “train” your husband, but you can “train” yourself!

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  • Vick g. 5 years ago

    This is all so true wish that she was around when I started the waiting game :)

  • HMT 5 years ago

    Cute article..good points!

  • Relationship Examiner 5 years ago

    Nice article. Something to think about before the wedding.

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