The first-annual “Kitten Bowl” will be aired on the Hallmark Channel during halftime of Super Bowl XLVIII. John Sterling, the longtime radio voice of the New York Yankees will be calling all of the nonstop action.
This televised contest will ostensibly consist of adorable kittens lacking the capacity for abstract thought required to understand and play the game of football.
As fun as all of this sounds, Animal Planet, creators of the rival Puppy Bowl, are not happy. The prestigious Puppy Bowl is celebrating its tenth anniversary this year, and apparently AP -- what the kids call Animal Planet -- has taken severe umbrage with this wily young upstart -- Hallmark -- for encroaching on their established turf -- puppy/kitten football --. They said as much to Wrap.com in this forceful statement:
“With the record-breaking success of Animal Planet’s ‘Puppy Bowl,’ our famous Kitty Half-Time Show and the huge viewership for our live Kitten Cam, we’re not surprised by a ‘copy cat’.”
Strong words...... And so the war begins.
Animal Planet has a point. It was indeed them who pioneered this burgeoning enterprise of juvenile-animal sporting events that has taken the nation by storm. If that weren’t enough for a viable infringement suit, they also began implementing kittens into the halftime show as early as Puppy Bowl II.
However, after likely realizing how callous their “copy cat” allegation was, and how ugly they had become when enraged, the Animal Planet spokesperson then offered more diplomatic sentiments:
“We’re just happy that pet adoption is being promoted and more animals are finding their fur-ever homes.”
Whatever clandestine, nefarious plots are being hatched by this mysterious Animal Planet spokesperson remains unclear. What is clear is that there has been an indelible line drawn in the sand between these two feuding factions: Puppy Bowl X vs. Kitten Bowl I.
It should be un-fur-gettable*.
* denotes rock-bottom journalistic integrity