While many people are concentrating on keeping their New Year's resolutions, newly single mother faces eviction and homelessness after husband abandons family for another woman. She wishes to remain anonymous, but wants to tell her powerful story.
2009, bore a rough ending for newly single mother and 2010 hasn't gotten much better. The mother who wishes to remain anonymous, says her husband left her and her then three year old for another woman in June of 2009. "He went to work one day and never came back," she says. "It all just happened so fast, I wanted to help my baby heal, it takes so much energy to pick up the pieces after your heart has been shattered."
She didn't see it coming, they had their ups and downs like any married couple, but this was far fetched. Her husband had asked her not to work, but stay home and home-school their son. When he left, she had to begin searching for work immediately. She has an extensive work history, yet finding employment was not an easy task for the 31 year-old. She found a job for a short period of time, but found that her lack of support system made it impossible to work past her child's school hours. As her child has medical conditions that many after school programs are not equipped to handle. She was forced to leave her job after being there just shy of a month. "I had to pick up my son by a certain time everyday, My family member that lives here was not in a position to help me, so I had to leave work several times and that did not make my employer happy."
Shortly after her husband left, she found that he had not paid any of the bills for months and the mortgage was almost six months behind. She was forced to move in September, after receiving a seven-day notice. With the assistance of her family member and a local agency she moved into an apartment, the one she is being evicted out of now. The finance company also said the truck note had not been paid in several months and they were going to pick up the truck. With help from her church, she was able to pay enough money to stop the repossession on the truck.
In the past she had been responsible for the finances, but her husband complained of not being the "man of the house" and wanted to take control. She wanted to be the "submissive wife" she had learned about in church and in the Bible, and she let her husband take care of all the finances and the major decisions for the family. "It was freeing at the time," she continued, "I was able to focus my attention on my husband, our child and my education. I had no idea that he had hidden motives."
When people ask why she allowed this to happen, she replies, "I had no idea that I would lose my job, that my husband would leave us, that I wouldn't be able to home-school our child like we had planned. I have to remain positive. My school money has been very helpful in keeping me afloat, but I know it's been God keeping me going." "I have to smile and constantly show my child that everything is alright and is going to be alright. He misses his dad and wants to know why we had to move out of our house. I keep everything neutral for him. I tell him that his dad loves him, even though I wonder if that is really true. He knows that we are struggling and he has not helped us in any way since July, 2009."
She says she wants what is best for her husband, who suffers from mental illness and alcoholism. She doesn't hold any ill feelings toward him and she wanted him to be a father to their son. She has emails showing visits set up that the father missed repeatedly. "I can't make him be a father, I couldn't make him be a husband either."
How does a parent who is forced to live in survival mode constantly, raise happy healthy children? "It takes a lot of prayer, and reading God's Word. I don't know where I would be if I didn't believe in God. Last year was hard for us, this year seems to be hard as well, but there is a peace that comes with believing in the Lord," she says with tears in her eyes and a sincerity that can not be mistaken as anything other than faith. She is also a full time student at a Christian university and hopes to graduate in just a few short months. "I hate to have to give up my education, I'm so close to finishing my BA in Psychology. I am still searching for work, I've signed up with the JOBS program here in Huntsville and I've been on several interviews so far. I'm waiting to hear from my school's student assistance program. I'm doing all that I can to be in a position to support my child again, this is all so new to me. I have never had to go without food or shelter without knowing where my next meal will come from. I want a job, not a handout. I have a degree already and I want to work. I don't know what the problem is."
If she is forced to move, she will be moving with a friend up north. "It's not the ideal situation, I love my friend and she is a God send. I don't know where we are going to end up, but I know that God wouldn't allow it if He didn't think I could handle it."
This story has so much more to it, but this is the meat of it. A single parent, still showing her child love under such harsh conditions, while suffering the loss of a loved one. It is a difficult place to be in, especially when there is no one around that can help. The economy is getting better, that's what they say anyway, but stories like this are far too common. When it seems like all options have been exhausted, just hold on. God answers prayer, it may not be in the way we expect it, but He does.
Updates on this story to come. We will see exactly what happens to this family, will her Christian University help? Will she find a job and a reliable day-care for her child? Will her husband help? More to come.
For more info: If you or someone you know in the Huntsville, Alabama area needs help please visit, Family Services Center, 600 St. Claire Ave., Huntsville, AL. Phone (256) 551-1610. To report child abuse, sexual abuse or neglect please contact Department of Human Resources (256) 535-4500 , Huntsville Police Department (256) 722-7100. Crisis Services of North Alabama.