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Why women take back cheaters

Why do women take unfaithful men back?
Why do women take unfaithful men back?
Photo by Ed Yourdon

It seems like every time we turn around there is more infidelity in the news. Tiger Woods just held a press conference hailing his return to golf after the scandal of his near record-breaking cheating. More recently it has been Jesse James, husband to Sandra Bullock, who has been in the spotlight for multiple affairs.

While it’s unclear if either of their wives are going to let their husbands come crawling home, all too often women forgive and forget when it comes to a cheating man. There are many reasons for this, but some common threads exist in the minds of women who take back cheating partners. So, why do women take back the unfaithful men in their lives.

1. Women often take back their cheating mates because of children. It might be 2010, but being a single mother is still an extremely hard road upon which to travel. Single mothers face so many problems that it is often easier, at least in the short run, to reconcile.

2. Women often stick with a cheater because they are financially unable to make it on their own. Many times women, especially those with younger children, have little work experience. They might not work, or work menial part time work to help make ends meet. These leaves many women vulnerable and stuck in bad relationships.

3. Women who have been cheated on often have low self-esteem and blame themselves. They feel they failed, and that if they were more beautiful, had a better body or kept a nicer home that things would have been better. They internalize their partners failures and feel like they can ‘do better’ and everything will be okay.

If this describes you, consider getting some counseling to help you get a healthier perspective. Give Ozarks Counseling Center a call or connect with them at

Unfortunately, there is less and less stigma placed on cheating men, so this is a problem not likely to go away anytime soon. If you have been betrayed by your man, take a hard look at your relationship before you decide what to do about it. If think there is hope, consider marriage counseling. There are some great local places that offer such help, such as Professional Christian Counseling Services. ( )

If you decide that it’s time to go, then know that there is help out there for women just like you. From childcare to food and housing assistance, you’ll find many services available to help you get on your feet. If you need help getting a job, there are places like Missouri Career Center for the Ozarks that can assist you. Check them out at:

It’s not going to be easier either way, just take solace in knowing that you’re not alone. Seeking help can help you avoid repeating negative relationship patterns and ending up reliving the painful experiences of discovering infidelity. If you do decide to stay together, consider making a term of that reconciliation couples counseling. After all, it’s not your fault he cheated!


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