What do the female rescuers want to do?
Here goal is to help but in reality she also wants to change him, in other words control the situation. An emotionally stable man really wouldn’t appeal to her and because she needs a man she can change and she needs to feel that she is making the ultimate sacrifice by doing this. In some ways it is having a martyr complex because through her love and devotion she needs to suffer. Of course she is not aware of this herself and believes she is doing what she is supposed to be doing as a loving wife.
Can female rescuers be helped?
Fortunately, they can. The first step is to understand and acknowledge that the problem is not the men per se but the fact that you are a rescuer and that needs comes from a deep rooted feeling of wanting to be loved and appreciated for all you do. You can be loved and appreciated in a normal relationship as well. You don’t have to continue choosing broken men. Acknowledge that you suffer from low self-esteem but that you are just as worthy as anyone else to have a healthy relationship.
The road to wholesomeness
In order to change the relationships you choose you must first change yourself. You may see yourself as a therapist of sorts but the reality is you are not and the wounded souls of the world would be best getting help from a therapist or psychologist.
It is a simple model acknowledging who you are; change your behavior to become who you would like to be. The steps to change yourself rather than the men you choose can be a long journey but a journey that is well worth it.