The first date is so exciting. The awkwardness of who's going to ask who out is over and now you just have to deal with the stress of picking out an outfit, thinking of conversation topics, and making sure there's nothing stuck in your teeth. But after that first date what do you do? Well if things go well, you continue to see each other. Traditionally, it has been up to the man to decide where to go and what to do on the first date. But after that first date, what do we do? Who's responsibility is it to continue to come up with romantic ideas for a night out? Most people assume it's still the man. Our culture tends to leave the wooing and sweeping people off their feet up to men. But that's totally unfair. After you've been dating for awhile and after you're married, the wooing is over. At that point, the two of you are going on dates as an investment in your relationship. And that is something you should both actively participate in. But that is overwhelmingly not happening in relationships. Date night in most heterosexual relationships consists of men not planning dates and women complaining about not being "taken out". Why don't women initiate, plan, and pay for dates more often?
Women are lazy.
A lot of women want the romance and the beautiful night out, but don't want to put the effort into planning it. Planning something thoughtful and creative takes a lot of forethought and effort sometimes. And even though women may want to receive those grand, sweeping gestures, a lot of times they are just simply too lazy to actually plan them themselves. If you're not careful, planning dates for your boo will fall into the category of things that "would be nice" but never actually happens. You may think about it often, and you may even plan it all out in your head, but it just never happens because of a lack of follow-through.
Related article: Take turns dating your significant other.
Women are spoiled.
Women are so used to men taking them out and paying for dates that they forget that the relationship is a two-way street. It's not fair to expect a man to pay for all the dates and always decide where you go and what you do. If you always leave it up to him, he will eventually get tired of being the only one responsible for date night and stop planning them altogether.
Related article: Finance & Romance: Who should pay for dates?
Women are afraid to show love.
The strong, independent women who have been raised to never show emotion and not put yourself out there sometimes don't even know how to be in a relationship. They're terrified of catering to their man, being submissive and showing love and affection in any real way. Some women feel like if they "go all out" for a man and then end up getting played it will make them look stupid. But if you have those kind of fears, you are either with the wrong person or you're not ready to be in a relationship at all.
Related article: Angry Black Woman Syndrome.
Women think men don't care.
A lot of women think men could care less one way or another about date night, but that's not necessarily true. Men need just as much love, affection, and attention as women. They may not always be as vocal about it, but they love you, of course they want quality time with you. Date night may mean something different to them than it does to you. For instance, you may think of date night as getting dressed up and going out to a nice restaurant. But their ideal date may be something more relaxed like bowling or cuddling on the couch with Netflix and popcorn. But what you do and where you go really doesn't matter. What matters is that you take the time to invest in your relationship.
Related article: How to have date night at home.
So what do you think? Should women be responsible for planning dates more often?
Top 10 Great Date Ideas
- Wine tasting
- Drive in movie
- Netflix and popcorn
- Go to the zoo
- Tasting craft beer
- Go hiking
- Go to the beach
- Mini golf
- Go to the gym together
- Go to an amusement park
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