Tiger Woods will probably never cheat again. Here's why.
Photo: AP/ Matt Dunham
Tiger Woods is a prime example of a cheating husband, who despite having had multiple affairs, will probably never cheat again.
Tiger’s public apology confirms what I’ve been saying in almost every one of the dozens of interviews I’ve given over the past two months., including the 4 last week.
Tiger is one of those serial cheaters who after having been caught, and forced to face the consequences of his infidelity, will probably never cheat again.
Read on to find out why.
Some Cheaters Keep Cheating – Others Don’t
One study found that 2/3 of the men who cheated on their mates had more than one affair .
25% of the men who comprised that number actually had 4 or more affairs.
As an infidelity expert who has been researching infidelity for over 16 years, and have interviewed thousands of cheating men during that time.
My research corresponds with the findings above. I’ve found that a significant number of cheating men go on to have other affairs.
Yet a small minority of cheating men never cheated again.
What was the determining factor?
What made the difference?
And why do I feel that Tiger Woods falls into the category of men who will probably never cheat again?
What Keeps Some Cheaters from Becoming Repeaters?
We’ve all heard that expression “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
I can assure you that that’s not true in every case.
My research indicates that negative consequences are determining factor in whether or not a cheating man will cheat again.
The cheaters who became repeaters were the ones who suffered little or no negative consequences as a result of their infidelity
The more negative consequences a cheater suffers as a direct result of his cheating -- the more losses he experiences because of his infidelity, the less likely he is to cheat again.
Let’s look at all that Tiger Woods lost as result of his multiple affairs.
The Negative Consequences of Tiger Woods’ Affairs
Below are some of negative consequences that Tiger Woods has suffered as a result of his affairs
• An intensely private man, Tiger lost his jealously guarded privacy. As a result of his multiple affairs, his life suddenly became an open book.
• He had to give up his beloved golf, put his golf career indefinitely on hold in order to fully focus on trying to turn his life around, and get his marriage back on track.
• His marriage is hanging in the balance. Although Tiger is fully committed to doing everything he can to make amends to his wife, he realizes he could still lose his marriage and family – the two most important things in his life.
• His pristine, squeaky clean reputation has been tarnished to the point that it may be impossible to repair.
• Some his major sponsors -- Accenture, AT &T -- dropped him like a hot potato, and wanted nothing further to do with him. Others began to distance themselves from him
• He became a public laughing stock, an object of ridicule, and the butt of many lewd and lascivious jokes.
• His fans, and millions of other people worldwide began to look at him in a different, and very negative light
• He came crashing down off the pedestal his fans, sponsors, and fellow golfers so many others had placed him, and his stellar reputation quickly went down the drain
• He lost the respect of millions of children and young people who looked to him as a role model, and lost the respect of their parents, as well.
• He has to live with the reality that he disappointed his wife, his mother, his sponsors, his fans, his colleagues, his business partners and millions of other people who believed in him.
• He has to face the stark realization that he could still lose the things that are most important to him in life -- not his money or his career, but his marriage, his wife, his children – all of which he holds very,very dear.
• He has to see, hear, read about all kinds of unkind things people are saying about him
• He suffered such extreme embarrassment and humiliation once the affairs came to light, and was so ashamed of his behavior, that it was months before he could bring himself to show his face in public again.
No doubt this list is far from complete.
What Was Tiger Thinking?
Much of Tiger Woods’ behavior can be attributed to his sex addiction – for which he is now in therapy and receiving qualified help.
But when you look at the sheer magnitude of what Tiger did, you can’t help but ask yourself
“What was he thinking?”
The answer is – he wasn’t thinking.
He let his desire for sex overrule his common sense which led to disastrous consequences
Now that he has been forced to take a hard, cold look at the consequences of his behavior, I think Tiger has seen the error of his ways. I seriously doubt that he’ll ever cheat again.
A Heartfelt Apology and Great Humility on His Part
It took a tremendous amount of courage and humility on Tiger’s part, as well as therapy and professional help for him to reach the point where he could bring himself stand before the world and give a public statement of apology.
He stood alone, before the world and promised to do his best to make amends, turn his life around, and show ,not just by words, but by deeds that he’s committed to becoming the kind of person that everyone – including his family, his fans, his sponsors, his business partners, the children and parents for whom he was a role model – can believe in again.
That’s why I say Tiger Woods will probably never cheat again
Tiger Deserves a Second Chance
His heartfelt and sincere public apology, the fact that he’s getting the best treatment available for his sex addiction, the fact that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make amends to his wife repair the damage done to his marriage shows Tiger is on the right track.
I sincerely hope that Elin can find it in her heart to forgive him – to give him the opportunity to prove himself worthy of her forgiveness and her trust.
I think Tiger is truly sorry for what he has done and all the hurt, humiliation and heartbreak he has caused his wife. In my opinion, Tiger has learned his lesson, and deserves a second chance.
But that’s for Tiger’s wife, Elin, and no one else, to decide.
*** © copyright 2010 Ruth Houston All Rights Reserved.
Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news. She is the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog
For more information on cheating men, taking a cheater back, the aftermath of an affair, see:
What Are the Major Obstacles to Taking a Cheater Back?
How Good Men End Up Cheating on Their Mates
Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (e-book version with Affair Recovery information)
Free Infidelity Tip Sheets and Special Reports
Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate