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Why taking space is healthy in relationships....


Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

One thing I noticed to a high capacity is that a HUGE stumble block within co-dependent relationships …which at current many people are involved in, as opposed to the WHOLE based relationship where each partner is totally balanced in their life with a full cup that is now simply running over because of and not being filled by – the other persons love, or their connection. Is the inability to create healthy boundaries, and also to pull away when necessary.

We are here ultimately having spiritual experiences… we are here and we are learning…. So above all our “job” is to ground into and anchor into those concepts… sometimes that can become clouded or even impossible with consistent connection to a partner. With over load of connection to a partner. A little bit of mystery, and build up may also be necessary within the connection to create deeper bonds and bring potential to a greater depth.

Everyone is individual yes, and will go at their own natural speed and pace… IF they have the ability to check and pace themselves. We can become consumed with the feelings invoked by a new potential connection, particularly a love connection and also become drunk on them…addicted to them… we become wrapped up, and obsessed, we forget our hobbies, or desires, our life interests lay on the back burner, as we are consumed by this love…. We lose sight of ourselves, we begin to resent each other even….and despite ALL that connection we walk away feeling like ….I never even knew that person…and I totally lost myself, or worse….we stay wrapped up in this story for the entirety of our lives and never fully transpire, create, or explore and truly share who we are.

This doesn’t mean staying alone forever…it means pacing yourself. If the ship is sinking with overload…you don’t spend your time bringing on more baggage i.e. more conversation more time etc etc etc…. you get the hell off the ship and onto the life boat, and you perhaps chill on the island for a minute… you wait… you repair the leak, based on your own spiritual findings and internal developments, and when you are ready …. You return together and sail off into bliss… etc…

So if you feel really inspired to a connection with a potential person but consistently meet resistance within yourself, or anger, or sadness, or conflict or any of the above… it’s time to re-evaluate the situation and input some space, to cleanse, clear your mind, breathe…connect with the truth.

The right partner for you is going to be totally on board with allowing YOUR unique and individual time line to manifest itself authentically… the right partner will wait, pause, and begin to read your signs and signals…. But remember to vocalize these truths…in a way that is not demeaning to, but empowering to your potential partner…for whatever role they will play in your life, business, friendship, lover, etc.

That person, is not “wrong” for desiring the connection….they might just need to refocus and reclaim their space as well… if you find one person not sticking to that mutually created timeline, or consistently desiring to much, and not being balanced in their time, desires, goals, or life…it might be time to move on completely to another potential candidate as that will signal the difference between a mutual whole union, and one that is co-dependent… but give them a chance.

And above all remember that we are here learning…and teaching each other through partnerships we get a really good look at our positive and negative attributes…i.e. our strengths and our spaces to work on, and grow through, and this is just one more “test” and chance really for you to make the right choice this time, and guide yourself safely to port.

Love Big

By Ashley Davene
Purchase Ashley’s Book “Art of Love” via
Stay tuned for her Second Book in creation “Pink and Blue A Love Story….”

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