On January 7, 2011, I posted a piece titled “The Myth of Older Men Wanting Younger Women.” I said that, in spite of the common belief that all older men are chasing after younger women, my experience has been otherwise. The response was instant and strong. On both sides of the aisle.
On February 28, 2012, I posted a follow up, “Older Men, Younger Women: Fact or Unicorn?” in which I reiterated and clarified my position in the first piece. I did so because, as a writer who always seeks to bring truth and enlightenment to the unwashed masses, I looked at the first piece and thought, “Man, that’s a shitload of hits. I gotta milk this baby again.”
Now, I am compelled to speak about this issue a third time, not because of potential hits (I have taken a vow of celibacy over the rampant accumulation of hits), but because two pieces on HuffPost (a publication characterized by its relentless ignoring of my work) have just wrestled this issue to the ground and stomped all over it with jackboots.
A HuffPost video in the last couple days, Why Older Men Date Younger Women, was sort of like a bleating National Enquirer headline, that, like me in high school, seemed to promise everything and deliver nothing.
The video began with an actual man who said he was 64 years old and dated women who were considerably younger than he was because “women closer to my age are less dreamy.” At first I thought the word “dreamy” had the same meaning as that used in any Elvis Presley film. But he was actually talking about women who have dreams, i.e. “are still optimistic and have a good attitude toward life.”
In case you were shoveling peanuts in your mouth while reading this, and got distracted, you read it correctly. The reason to date younger women has nothing to do with sex or youth or perky breasts. It’s because younger women are joyful about life, while older women are “jaded due to bad experiences with men.” He continues, “I want a woman who shares my passion for life. Women my age don’t have that.” He strongly asserts that “this has nothing to do with sex. Younger women speak to me.” OK, Unnamed Guy. I get it. Younger Woman=No Sex, Just Joy About Life.
This was followed by the next segment, from a human being who did not own a penis, but who was married to one. The penis in question was 15 years younger than she was and he was still following her around with his tongue skimming the floor. On a scale of one to five, sex was a number that hasn’t been invented yet. She explained, “Younger women want to be loved. Older women want to be loving.” To show how loving she is, she continued, “I could marry anyone. I love everyone. If my husband drowned in a pool of his own semen, I could marry the next man who came along.” (Well, OK, she didn’t exactly say that, but it’s my blog. Arrest me.) The equation then becomes Younger Man=Rip Roaring Ohmygod Sex or Any Man=Rip Roaring Ohmygod Sex.
The video continued with how boomers could be successful at dating. It was so riveting that I was forced to consume the soggy walnuts from a salad we had several nights ago.
Last were the statistics. Out of a thousand (or a billion) boomers, the results were
31% preferred to date people their same age
42.5% preferred younger
14.5% preferred older
12% preferred either a banana, a blow up doll, or a model of Donald Trump’s head.
So, hoopla aside, 45.5% preferred to date people their age or older. Doesn’t give much credibility to the title of the piece.
In sum, only one segment out of three had anything to do with older men wanting to date younger women, and that segment left a bit to be desired, credibility-wise. So let’s move on to a piece Ken Solin wrote recently for HuffPost titled “Why Boomer Women are Perfect for Boomer Men.” In it, he writes,
“I’ve known lots of boomer men who were still trying, but mostly failing, to extend their casual sex years beyond their physical capabilities. When they try, it’s nearly always with younger, tight-bodied women who fuel their sexual fantasies. Is there anyone on the planet who honestly doesn’t know why older men date younger women? Okay, it’s about sex. Glad to clear up any lagging doubts. This is a fallacy, however. At 67, I’m having the best sex ever, and it’s with a 63-year-old woman. Great sex stems from the heart, not the head. But that’s another topic for later.”
Solin also writes “Women over 50 have far more emotional, sexual and intellectual depth than younger women.”
So Solin has a mildly different interpretation of the whole older man, younger woman thing. This is like our present Congress having a “mildly” different interpretation of leadership.
Hey, let’s not insult younger women here (If we do, my daughter will bar me from seeing my grandchildren). Maybe a better way to say it is that women over 50 are solid in the social/emotional/sexual department. They are also optimistic, “dreamy,” are not scarred for life over “bad experiences with men,” and can be just as vital as women far younger than them.
If you are a man and you want to date younger women, I wish you the best of luck. Just be real, please. Don’t say it’s because women your age are deficient in some way or that you can’t relate to them. And don’t say all older men want women who can bear them children. We’ve heard that before, also. In fact we’ve heard everything before. The only thing that matters is real, honest compatibility. That, and a lot of hits on this post. I lied about the celibacy part.