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Why Men Love Bitches: A book for those who want to follow The Rules but are too offended by them

When I first read and reviewed The Rules, I realized that I wanted...no...needed to read and review other relationship books. As a Relationships Examiner, it is my duty to subject myself to the drudgery on the shelves of most relationship sections found in book stores. Why should you, my loyal readers, have to read all of these books yourselves just to find the ones that might actually be worth the read (like Love in 90 Days)? No, no. It's best you leave the search to me. That's part of my job!

This time, I want to tell you about Why Men Love Bitches. The title itself can be a bit misleading and while the subtitle of "From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship" gives you a better idea of the book's content, it's still not quite right. Probably a better title for this book would be The Rules version 2.0 - Now with slightly less offensive material!

It seems that author Sherry Argov has the same basic message as the ladies of The Rules although it wasn't as obviously marriage driven. I can only assume the sequel to this book, Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning her Man's Heart takes care of that. Instead of rules, Why Men Love Bitches has "attraction principles." To give you an idea of exactly why I believe I've come up with a better title for this book, let me share some of these principles with you:

  • #18 Always give the appearance that he has plenty of space. It gets him to drop his guard.
  • #24 Every man wants to have sex first; whether he wants a girlfriend is something he thinks about later. By not giving him what he wants up front, you become his girlfriend without him realizing it.
  • #29 A quality guy fantasizes about a woman who genuinely loves sex.
  • #32 Let him think he's in control. He'll automatically start doing things you want done because he'll always want to look like "a king" in your eyes.
  • #36 The token power position is for public display, but the true power position is for private viewing only. And this is the only one that matters.
  • #38 When a woman acts as though she's capable of doing everything, she gets stuck doing everything.
  • #42 When you are always HAPPY; And he is always free to GO; He feels LUCKY.
  • #60 If you take his chores away from him and praise someone else for doing it, he'll want his chores back.

I could share so many more...there are, after all, a hundred attraction principles. It seems to be about 50/50 on actually good (or at least decent) advice and advice on how to best play mind games. As I stated previously, the basic message of Why Men Love Bitches is similar to that of The Rules in that you need to be an independent woman who can take care of herself before you'll find a real catch of a man.

However, this book also heavily encourages women to play mind games with men. One example of this is the entire chapter called "Dumb Like a Fox." It encourages women to do pretty much exactly what it sounds like it encourages. One of the best ways to make a man feel manly is to sometimes play dumb. Page 77 gives the example of "If you want him to turn right, tell him 'I think it might be to the left.' In a man's mind, his navigation skills will always be superior to a woman's. It's all about his ego, which has no direction and no line of rotation."

I don't know about you, but I think I'd be highly offended by someone who always had to go in the exact opposite of the direction I suggest. Any way, the point of the whole chapter is that you play it smart by acting dumb - hence the title of the chapter. Argov claims that if you let your man act like he's in charge out in public, then you'll really be the one in charge behind the scene. Again, I think I'd rather be equal partners than have to hide the fact that I have a brain.

One thing Why Men Love Bitches does discuss in a completely different light than The Rules is sex. Both books do discuss the advantages of waiting to have sex instead of jumping into bed with every man who comes your way. However, The Rules leaves no room for anything beyond standard sex. As a matter of fact, The Rules clearly stated that if you had to use props, there was something wrong. On the other hand, Why Men Love Bitches devotes an entire chapter to using one's feminine wiles to your best advantage.

Argov gives you advice on how to not seem like a tease (page 65). She tells you to stop trying to compete with his former lovers...or what you imagine his former lovers were like or even with what you believe he fantasizes about (page 68). I think my favorite thing in the entire book was the satire written on page 70 about how to fake an orgasm. Argov tells her readers that the point of sex is enjoyment and that things like faking an orgasm are actually bad for relationships. It rewards bad behaviors (or, rather, it doesn't promote the best ones for you) and ultimately makes the act less fun for both parties.

Over all, I'd have to say Why Men Love Bitches would be a better buy than The Rules, but I still think it's full of more crap than good advice if only because the good advice is loaded down with crap examples.

If you do decide you want to check this book out, you can find it at Barnes & Noble or Joseph-Beth. I found my copy at Half Price Books for, surprise!, half price. I'd suggest going for the Half Price Books stock.

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