Learning that your man has been untrue is one of the most painful things one can experience. Betrayal at that level has a way of making you question everything else in life. Ultimately many women are left with a single, painful question…why?
While there isn’t one single answer to this question, there are some common reasons men stray.
He’s a jerk
While there are some men who cheat for deeper reasons, there is a jerk factor that comes up when we talk about unfaithful men. Some men think they are more ‘manly’ if they juggle women, even if they are married with children. These men tend to be very insecure and use conquests to boost their ego.
If this describes your man, leaving might be the best option. Look for support from local support groups like Midlife divorce recovery. (www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com)
Many men compete with friends when it comes to women. Being with a lot of women gives them status among their peers. For some men, it’s hard to give up this competition, no matter the cost to their family. Again, men that do this sort of thing are insecure and need constant approval.
Not getting enough sex at home
Men that don’t get their needs met at home sometimes think it’s okay to look elsewhere. There’s an attitude that a wife that’s not in the mood is just being cold, while this might be true, it’s certainly not always the case. Pregnancy, post-pregnancy, the strains of child care and working outside the home create exhaustion that can make intimacy difficult.
Because you’ve forgiven him before
If a man has cheated before and was forgiven, they are more likely to do it again. The reasoning is simple, if they didn’t have to pay a price for an affair there is less to fear the next time around. He knows that if he gets caught, he just has to be extra nice and beg for forgiveness and everything will be okay.
Maybe you think he is up to no good and need to be sure? Consider hiring an investigator to help you learn the truth. There are great local investigators ready to help you, like Paul Skinner Investigations. (www.pskinnerinv.com)
Lack of emotion connection
While many think that only women need an fulfilling emotional connection, men also have problems when their emotional needs aren’t getting met. Men want to feel empowered, needed and wanted by their woman. If these feelings are coming from their marriage, they are more likely to stray when another women makes them feel special.
You don’t have to give up on a relationship when there is emotional distance. Consider couples counseling to get things back on track. The Forest Institute might be able to help you work things out, check them out at www.forest.edu.
Some men cheat to get even with their mate for some perceived wrong doing. Maybe she spends too much, pays more attention to the kids than to him or stays home with the little ones and he’s resentful….whatever he feels angry about at the time. This type of cheating is the sign of an immature man and typically leads to serial cheating.
This list covers just a few of the most common excuses for cheating, but every man has his own list of reasons. Most of the time there isn’t a single cause, but rather a combination of relationship problems and character flaws that lead to infidelity. But, there is never an excuse for infidelity, and it creates a breach of trust that can never be fully mended. Knowing why it happened, however, might help you avoid such trouble in future relationships.