This is a complex topic with numerous layers to uncover. Many theories have been developed. Some are: family dysfunction, inadequate communication skills, provocation by women, stress, chemical dependency, lack of spirituality and economic hardship. However, these theories aren’t the causes. These theories are simply associated with abusing women. Removing these factors will not end men’s violence against women.
Did you know…
- “1 of every 3 abused children becomes an adult abuser or victim.”
- “Abusers learn violent behavior growing up in an abusive family environment.”
- “94% of men in jail are witnesses or victims of domestic violence.”
These facts and figures are from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
The abuser begins and continues his behavior because violence is an effective method for gaining and keeping control over another person. Plus, there are no consequences for abusers. Historically, violence against women has not been treated as a “real” crime. This is evident in the lack of severe consequences, such as incarceration or economic penalties. Abusers are not held accountable or ostracized in their communities, even if they’re known to be abusive.
Here are some characteristics that fit a general profile of an abuser. Abusers objectify women. They don’t see women as people or respect women. Overall, they see women as property and/or sexual objects. Abusers have low self-esteem, and feel powerless and ineffective in the world. They may appear successful, but inside they feel inadequate. They externalize the causes of their behavior. Therefore, they blame everything on others. Abusers may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence, called the “honeymoon phase.” It’s like a passing storm – calm, violent, and calm again; and it doesn’t happen all the time. And, they are seen as a “nice guy” or “prince” to outsiders. Some behavioral warning signs include: extreme jealousy, possessiveness, bad temper, unpredictability, verbal abusiveness, and cruelty to animals.
Why men abuse is an in-depth topic. This barely scratches the surface of it. It is so intricately woven; yet it contains a ripple effect. However, putting it in its simplest form is quite easy. Men abuse because they can; because they can get away with it; because no one stops them.
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