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Why I quit the Illuminati

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First let me tell you how I joined in the first place. A friend of mine was in banking awhile ago and he had a lot of connections at the very top and when I say top I don’t mean “mayor”. Anyway he wanted me to take a small part in an operation and it even had a name. It was called “Operation Contropop”. The first thing I asked was if there was any money in it and he said "sure, lots”. When he said “lots” that’s all I needed to hear. I didn’t even bother asking what “Contropop” meant. That would’ve been my second question.

So I’m in. I don’t know what the ins and outs of being in meant but he assured me I was in. And being in meant keeping it a secret that I was in. No one was to know I was in. Furthermore the other “ins” didn’t know I was one of them and I didn’t know who they were. I asked my banker friend if there were any women that were in and he said very few. At that point I didn’t care about the other ins. In fact when he told me this I almost wanted out.

But I stayed in anyway and I had my first assignment. We were to take a short plane ride into New Jersey to deliver fertilizer. We go to the local airport, short airport for short planes. Even the pilots were short, I mean like jockey short. We get on the plane and I see a stack of sacks that I figured was the fertilizer. I asked if that was what we were delivering and he said yea, sure. I look over at the sacks and they had skull and crossbones printed on each one, I thought that this was a child safety warning thing.

So we’re flying for awhile making small talk. The pilot, co-pilot with my banker friend and myself and I see we’re going over a heavily populated area and that’s when the banker stood up and said, this is it, it’s time. I said “time for what?”. He said deliver the fertilizer. So I buckled up thinking we’re going to land in New Jersey and he says “what are doing?” I say “getting ready to land, right?” He says “no, we’re delivering the fertilizer from here.” He goes over to one of the sacks and cuts along the top and opens it and then lifts a hatch and pours the white power content into a shoot which just went outside the plane.

He looks over at me and says “are you going to help?” and without thinking I unbuckle and hurry along the back with him and start emptying the sacks outside the plane. I thought maybe we were over a farm or something and we were fertilizing the crops but when we finished I could see we were still over a populated area. The pilots were laughing and so was my friend who said “that’ll teach em.” I asked “teach who what?” He said “you’ll see, in time you’ll see.” this was about the time the show Jersey Shore went on the air and I started to piece things together.

We went on these runs, maybe twice a month. We did other things too. I for one sold real estate and wrote articles making fun of people, and my banker buddy loaned money to people who weren’t able to pay him back. It was all part of a big plan to put people in homes they couldn’t afford and then feed them with misinformation. In the end people lost their homes and the banks got rich from the bail-outs and then the planes got bigger with taller pilots.

That’s about the time I called it quits. For one thing I had enough of Snooky and Jwow and in some small way felt responsible for their behavior. Actually it was The Situation that tipped the scales for me. I like Connecticut, I didn’t want it to be like Joysee.

So I told my friend that I was quitting “our Illuminati thing” or as they say “La Costra Illuminati Nostra” and he was cool about it. He didn’t mind one bit. I told him I would keep the secret and he wasn’t worried about it because it wasn’t really a secret anyway because our thing was deliberately exposed to a bunch of misfits, charlatans and people who liked zombie movies. Since they’re the only ones who know about us, when they tell others, who’s going to believe them? Very smart.

So here I am telling you as a former lumy how it all worked and how I played a part in it. Oh and “Contropop”? That’s short for “operation control the population”. We did that. Ever watch Housewives of New Jersey? That was me.

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