Recent news articles speak to a general “failure to launch” syndrome among those between the ages of 18 and 25. This group, commonly referred to today as “millennials,” has be lauded as everything from the next “Greatest Generation” to the real movers and shakers of tomorrow. Advertisers, politicians and business executives, for quite a while, decided that this demographic subset was the one which they should focus their firepower on, rather than the group known as “Generation X” and “Generation Y.”
Write off a generation at your own peril.
The ballyhooed “millennials” are now being exposed as a near-fraudulent, over hyped group of entitled teens and twenty-somethings with the attention span of spoiled milk. Attached to their smartphones, tablets and Bluetooth devices, a payphone is a dinosaur meant to dial 911 in the event their smartphone battery takes a dump. And forget “over the air” television; lack of cable or internet would be a death-sentence for these folks. Many of them suffer from a distinct video game addiction, hence the more pejorative term “The Playstation Generation.”
But take heart, Gen X and Yers, there are many things that our particular demographic unit can take pride in:
- We launched the internet age and the age of internet sock puppets.
- We were the last generation to be taught the concept of “Mutual Assured Destruction” alongside knowing the location of the nearest fallout shelter.
- We became self-sufficient because layoffs and corporate deception about “protecting jobs” were as commonplace to us as email addresses are to millenials.
- We had the patience to put up with endless programs waxing nostalgically about Baby Boomer cultural icons, such as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, 1950s television, JFK, the Vietnam War.
- We learned various definitions of the word “is” from the President of the United States.
- We turned Kinko’s into a worldwide phenomenon.
- We survived the Dallas Cowboys of the 1990s….
- ….and the Buffalo Bills
- ….and the Atlanta Braves
- ….and the New York Yankees
- ….and the Chicago Bulls.
- We were the last generation to have a genuinely legitimate concern about the draft coming back (Sorry, as long as Chuck Schumer, Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi are in office, it ain’t coming back!).
- We turned loose upon the world the original Honey Boo Boo on the world, Puck from MTV’s original The Real World.
- We foisted MTV’s The Real World upon the world in the first place.
- We turned David Arquette into a star (okay, maybe not pride so much as derisive laughter!)
- We gave the world South Park.
- We were willing to tell Warner Brothers that Patrick Stewart, not Arnold Schwarzenegger, should have been Mr. Freeze!!!
- We breathed new life into the careers of Bruce Boxleitner, Claudia Christian, Bill Mumy and Jeff Conaway…at least for a little while!
- We launched the careers of Kevin Sorbo and Terry Farrell (more the latter than the former).
- We put up with the Kardashians (their dad, anyway) in the first place!!!!
- We recognized that, deep down, everybody lies.
- We were the last generation to really enjoy 99 cent-a-gallon gasoline.
- We were the last generation to be able to actually get the jokes in “Smokey and the Bandit.”
- We were the last generation to have to “go outside and play” because our Ataris, Colecos and Nintendos didn’t have wi-fi!!!
- We understood that, sometimes, a war has to be fought even if it’s not necessarily the “right thing to do.”
- We went to Walmart to buy American!
- We had full-sized spare tires in our cars.
- We actually went to actual “dances.”
- We watched “Ren and Stimpy,” and “Cow and Chicken.”
- We can remember when CMT, MTV and VH1 actually played music videos!
And last but not least, we gave the world the greatest cultural threat it has ever known…
Beavis and Butthead!!!
Yep, it’s good to be a Gen X/Yer!!!!
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